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TheCC · 11-16-2021, 10:25 AM

In my ISFL LR, we have a joke role that gets pinged with some of the worst jokes you've ever heard in your life. So I'll share one that I was just pinged with last night by my friend Vorsh! *clears throat*

Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just one alloy? What a steel! And for a nickel more, you can get stainless.

*Drokeep* · 11-16-2021, 10:42 AM

I saw the funniest thing the other day. I saw a man who turned himself into a pickle, I kid you not. I swear it was the funniest shit you'll ever see

Bfine · 11-16-2021, 11:20 AM

Not really a prank but in college we bet someone 5 bucks they wouldnt drink a Long Island Ice Tea with ranch dressing in it. They did and promptly threw up. We then bought him a shirt that said I'd rather be drinking ranch.

EricNCSU · 11-16-2021, 11:29 AM

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE!

A man walked into a bar. And it hurt.

A Priest, a Rabbi and an atheist walk into a bar. Bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Jimmysmo27 · 11-16-2021, 11:59 AM

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.

"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the priest.

One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the priest. He then asks the elderly couple, "Have you completed the month with sex?"

"Yes we have, it was easy," replies the elderly couple.

"How about you?" He asks the middle-aged couple.

"It was hard, but we didn't have sex for the whole month," they respond.

"And how about you two?" He asks the young couple.

"No we couldn't do it," responds the boyfriend.

"Tell me why," says the priest.

"Well my girlfriend had a can of corn in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that's when it happened."

The priest then tells them, "You're not welcome in my church."

"We're not welcome in the supermarket either," says the boyfriend.

charlieconway · 11-16-2021, 12:07 PM

Quote:Your task: Tell me about a joke you know or have heard, a good prank you've seen, something funny that's happened here or irl. Reminisce about something that made you laugh. Let's get happy.

A man walks into a bar and sees Lyle Odelein III sitting on a stool, sipping away at his beer.

He walks up to the defenseman, grabs him by the collar, spins him around, and says "You're sitting on my stool."
An altercation ensues and LOIII absolutely clobbers him, landing every single punch thrown.

The next day, the same happens. "You're sitting on my stool." Again, Lyle Odelein III tees him up.

On the third day, after the man is left bloodied and bruised, his friend walks up to him and asks "Why are you letting him land so many hits without fighting back?"

To which the man replies "Because I drafted him in fantasy."

Wearingabear · 11-16-2021, 02:26 PM

Once my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

***Rankle*** · 11-16-2021, 02:41 PM

The other day I was hanging out with my cat when I saw a centipede on the wall and while normally I'd be terrified of it cause I hate bugs, my cat was horrified at this lovecraftian horror on the wall and sprinted to the furthest corner of the house.

Chomp Chomp Water Dog Barracuda

Scarecrow Noises Scarecrows

JSS331 · 11-16-2021, 03:39 PM

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

Faelax · 11-16-2021, 05:55 PM

Among us night in Quebec City is always good for a few laughs. Some people are way too good and some people are awful at lying, but it is always a good time.

natedoeshockey · 11-16-2021, 06:52 PM

I'm going to sound like a simp, which I am, but my girlfriend makes me laugh all the time. She's legitimately the funniest person I know. I actually asked her about this prompt (lol) to see if she could remember any of the specifics of any of the times we've laughed so hard that we choked, but she couldn't...and I can't either. Anyway, yeah, I didn't know what happiness was before I met her.

roastpuff · 11-16-2021, 07:03 PM

What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grains!

Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish!

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

I'm out of jokes man

Clean Andrei Kostitsyn · 11-16-2021, 07:08 PM

okey lissen. Do you kno wai the midjet cook hav loose his job at the Casino ?

becose the steaks wer too high

too fonny wawaweewa

Moreorless89 · 11-16-2021, 07:20 PM

I was in high school in a university gymnasium drifting in the bleachers for a Christmas church survive when this guys chair broke out from under him. Me and my friend were doing our best not to laugh because he got up and just walked out with his wife/girlfriend gathering her stuff to catch up. Do not know why it was so funny but I still smile thinking about that poor guy and the chair he killed.

C9Van · 11-16-2021, 07:43 PM

From irl I have a pun I heard due to Adele bringing out a new album which made me laugh:

Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.

[33 words]

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