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JuOSu · 04-02-2022, 07:12 PM

gaby · 04-02-2022, 07:13 PM

Player Prompt

First thing that would come to my mind is what the fuck did Terry do this time. It's not the first time this idiot has lost the team money, last time he fell to an obvious scam and 50M were gone just like that. But first thing I would tell my GM is it even allowed to get even less than the minimum, doesn't the SHL have some rules with the salary cap? I'm in the last year of my deal and it's saying the minimum for a next contract is 5M. I'm a team player sure, but I can't go for much longer at 3M a year? Anyway I've always taken less money to help the team field the best roster possible, not helping ownership when they mess up. Just fire Terry already for fuck sakes. Love of the game is nice and all but the life of an SHLer aint easy. I inherited 100M from Ti-Guy Emond, a guy who also played in the SHL for a long time. There's less than 20M remaining after all the cost of training and it's only my third season in the league. The goal to reach 2000 TPE aint cheap Dwight, pay me or I'm gone!

spooked · 04-02-2022, 08:37 PM

PLAYER PROMPT

With the team struggling financially, one such as myself can only accept whatever paycut I need to take. Although a top-class professional in any career should get paid what they are worth, loyalty is harder to come by than cash for me. My family is stable, there is very little left to gain from more and more money. I already have enough for a couple of generations to live off of modestly, so there is really no personal benefit to chase a bigger paycheck elsewhere. I think Minnesota has been and will be where I reside for the huge majority of my career, as long as they can make use of me, there is no reason to leave. The team has a plan in place, and I am a huge part of it, so why would I care if the number on my paycheck is smaller when I know the team has my back in all other senses. 161w

Rotti · 04-02-2022, 09:12 PM

We quickly save money by using our team programmer @DrunkenTeddy's skills. We get him to develop a new banking system for the league, but he tests it for two years before hand to find exploits within the system. Then we push the system onto our pro-hamilton Head Office and get the banking system implemented. Then we constantly sim test (full time job) for the rest of the time we use the banking system, but we don't actually make any changes to our strategies within the banking system even though we are constantly finding ways to exploit this banking system. It should be pretty pogchamp and that stupid nephew @Gooney will have to pay us back all of his money in some way. Wink wink. He will have to make a new banking system on top of our system that also exploits our system and the system we reccomended. It will be foolproof and no one will be able to tell.

JayWhy · 04-02-2022, 09:39 PM

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An old man's dream ended. A young man's vision of the future opened wide. Young men have visions, old men have dreams. But the place for old men to dream is beside the fire.

Thanks to Jackson, Copenhagen, and Harry Hans!

GOING DOWN IN STYLE. TOAST4LYFE

*RashfordU* · 04-02-2022, 10:25 PM

Prompt #1

The Berserkers are pissed, seasons of success down the drain because little Timmy thought NFTs were the future. It starts with the concessions, fans will no longer be able to get premium Franks for $5, but rather are going to be chowing down on Ikea Hotdogs for the steal of a price at $4.99. Inside the Locker Room the players have had a rough adjustment, the Xbox Ones were traded in for PS2's, this probably rattles Rand Al'Thor the most because he finds his little hands struggle with the PS2 controller (I can't believe they are wired!).

Players have had to start bringing in their own shampoo for the showers, while also taking their laundry home to ensure Timmy's budget will balance at the end of the season. Unfortunately our stick sponsorship is still holding up, but oddly enough we've had a ton of "Game-Used" Auctions lately and I've lost my record breaking gear from last season. Is it time to demand a trade?

**brickwall35** · 04-02-2022, 10:25 PM

Creative Prompt:
Anyone with any kind of connection to the SHL has seen how insanely popular the Ice Level trading cards have become. There’s extremely limited supply, and people are only to get a few packs at a time, if they’re lucky. People are flooding the manufacturer’s twitter asking them to bump up production, even saying they’re willing to pay extra. That’s where we can capitalize. Now, obviously, if no one else is able to get a surplus of card backs, we won’t be able to either. But we can do…is make knockoffs. Counterfeits. Fake cards. We can probably buy them in bulk for pennies on the dollar from China and find someone local to make a half decent fake wrapper. We can either try to sell them for higher than the market value of the normal packs, since people are frothing at the mouth for more cards. Or we can undercut the price of the normal cards, knowing that the price plus availability will make them sell like hot cakes. All we need to do is make sure we aren’t actually connected to the sales in any way…man this sounds a lot like drug dealing. Oh well.

Julio Tokolosh · 04-03-2022, 01:05 AM

Creative Prompt:
ShL iNfLaTiOn Is TrAnSiToRy. Julio like's the dairy sponsorship idea. Some further penny pinching ideas not covered in the prompt or lampooned in Slap Shot (a great female written sports movie) will be elaborated upon.

Edmonton has explored a few locker room modifications. To streamline our supplies, we will be ordering items in bulk. instead of 5 different color and texture options for tape, we will. just have one large clear tape roll in the middle of the locker room.

The skate sharpeners have been sold, and the arena is just going to have warmer, worse ice. slower speeds mean fewer injuries. Players wont need to dig in for those tight cuts. The warmer ice also saves us a ton of money on the cooling bill / thermo unit. Further, we furloughed the ice dancers / commercial break scraper team. If it gets really bad, we just phone up to the box and have our healthy scratches do it (they already have ice skates, so it should be pretty easy).

Concessions will also boil all of the hotdogs in a big vat, and then customers will pay not for the hotdog, but for the experience of having 3 tries to net a hotdog. I'm not sure how Calgary is staying afloat with their izzy dog program, but our net-dog deal will make the dog eating experience twice as rewarding, and not everyone will catch a dog on their first time, so more money or same money +same inventory if they leave sans dog.

***Benpachi*** · 04-03-2022, 01:26 AM

the fastest and easiest way for the SHL to save money is quite simple. At the end of each season, the last place team simply doesn't get paid. All the money goes back in to Head Office where it will definitely NOT be spent on margarita machines and a churro station in the lunchroom.
To address the inevitable complaints regarding lost salaries, mortgages, 'life expenses,' food, and other such nonsense I will say only this: have you tried simply not losing?

And that's it, really. the salary cap of an entire team seems like a solid savings to balance the books. And hey, when the value of those NFTs finally bounces back, then EVERYONE can get a margarita machine!

In the meantime, the stakes get higher and the crowd gets to watch squads of increasingly desperate millionaires on skates pummel eachother into submission. It's a win-win. Unless you're a player. And even then, only the worst team gets boned. So a win-win. No downsides.

Evok · 04-03-2022, 01:36 AM

First prompt
Instead of cutting corner, i don't see why we shouldn't start to make more money, you know? The issue is that we lost money and we need to 'find' money fast. Cutting is for loser, i'm an entrepreneur at heart. Well, i have done a small study recently and turns out, fans (and even players) are down to start to buy player card for a stupid amount of money. I've seen some pack going for $100,000. Which mean, that players and fans are willing to pay 16 thousand and more on ONE card. I'd get a bunch of nerd that would make some cute graphic design and start to sell those cards as well. You just slap some exclusivity on some of them and i would watch the money flow in. like real STONK. It's important to mention however that it would not be any of those NFT shit. No no, those are real card with real players. Hell, it even create more jobs!

lilstifler · 04-03-2022, 03:07 AM

Creative prompt.

Horrific situation, I think it will never happen, but that has happened. I've learned to save in my life, but this is already a real saving so that there is a whole organisation that is much more complicated. But by bending our heads together, we can come to a perfect version as to improve everything and survive in these difficult times. Then, first of all. We certainly wouldn't raise ticket prices, it's not part of our plans. People don't have to suffer because of our situation. I think all the equipment would be for a certain number, not for each person, but for a common one. Everyone would have the opportunity to receive new inventory as soon as the old man has been depreciated. Such as a sharing situation. We'd certainly choose cheaper sticks. Then we might try to practice more directly in the field, on the natural ice, which would actually save us the rental money for rooms. There might have to be a bit of a cut in wages, but for all, so that there is no discrimination against a certain person. I think we'd deal with this situation perfectly.

Crunk · 04-03-2022, 06:40 AM

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Jumbobone19 · 04-03-2022, 09:00 AM

PLAYER PROMPT-

Money is not usually an issue with me. I will almost always try to help the team out as much as possible. I recently took the Home Team Discount for my contract. So always willing to do whatever it takes. If they wanted me to take less so they could pay a younger player or sign a free agent then that's different. But now if its Upper Management's fault for losing money, I really have to think about what to do here. Do I want to stay with a team that has that kind of management that is so irresponsible and then they try to make the players pay for said loss. Ultimately I would not take less money in this case. I do not want to play for a team where management can financially ruin players and even the team. Those kind of mistakes you cannot ignore. So I will not sign a new contract and will be testing free agency. Once again this is not about the money but the principle of why they are asking me to take less. Not happening.
-184 words

***golden_apricot*** · 04-03-2022, 09:21 AM

pass

Wearingabear · 04-03-2022, 09:49 AM

The Philadelphia Forge, who exist in the Eastern Conference, of the Simulation Hockey League are broke. That's a bummer. Budget cuts across the board, no more champagne showers, no caviar dreams, no more PJs, ZJs, or TJs for the boys on company dime. IF you don't know what a ZJ is, you probably couldn't afford it in the first place. While this obviously puts a huge strain on the team and ends up lowering morale a whole lot, it's not too much of a concern. The boys are good at coming together and figuring it out. It's fundraiser time. Bakesales, lemonade stands, car washes, bean suppers, calendar shoots, the boys do it all to get people in and spending lots of cash. All of that is chump change though, they need a big motivational push to get the money they need to live their lavish lifestyles. One would thing doing all of these fundraisers would help the boys see they could do more for the community, but it doesn't work as well as you'd think. The boys start opening Monero wallets, Off shore accounts and doing whatever they can to shield their money from the idiot treasurer. They end it all with a giant telethon and cold call the rest of the league, but pose it as a charity event. Unethical? Probably. Illegal? Probably. Did it work? Well, Luke Thomason, who just announced his retirement, said he'd donate $100 million SHL buckaroos to the cause.

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