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*bibleman19* · 05-29-2022, 11:45 PM

To appeal the the 60+ crowd I think instead of trying to outcompete both bingo and wheel of fortune we bring all of them together. Periodically, throughout the game during stoppages of play they will announce the bingo numbers to appeal to this older demographic. And then during intermissions we can play wheel of fortune reruns to please the old folk. That isn't the only thing we need to do to increase our ticket sales, it would also require a complete overhaul of the concession system. Seniors don't like pizza, and beer, and pretzels so we gotta switch it up. Instead of cheap beer night, we will replace it with cheap prune juice night cause the seniors love it. Instead of difficult to eat hard pretzels which is tough on the dentures, we'll change it to a nice hearty bowl of oatmeal. Easy to eat and also helps lower cholesterol. And finally the pizza, I suggest werthers orignals as everyone knows old people love hard candies.

Nhamlet · 05-29-2022, 11:46 PM

As part of ensuring that the attendance in the noon matinee would continue to be well populated, the SHL teams turned to improving their off ice experience. No more was the focus on the actual on ice product itself, but ensuring that there could be as many people in the arena at once, spending as much money at once. That meant that what were numerous seats jammed right next to one another became more luxurious boxes with tables and boxes, each more exclusive than the other. Ensuring that the older generation with money to spare could easily move around, and show off their accumulated wealth, it was more important that the arena surrounding the rink itself needed to be for comfort rather than efficiency.

These tables also included waiting staff to take orders and deliver staff. If anything, it became a giant restaurant with live entertainment of the hockey game in the middle.

There was a need to also appeal to partners of the older fans, who may not be fans themselves, and as a result the surrounding walking space converted into an outlet shopping mall. Hockey became more of a tertiary thought.

***luke*** · 05-29-2022, 11:55 PM

a top marking play to get more butts in seats for the entirity of the SHL is to promote fighting again. Do you know how many asses are in their seats when you see Juni Panda and whoever go toe to toe? the answer is simply 0. You need more fighting in the league in order to get more people in the seats. When you ahve new england not having as many wins as they can, you need as many chances to get more people in there. You can also do theme nights for when you have dollar dog night with baseball. Or you can get crazy and do more scoring. For when you score you get more people. You need to market your stars better. When you ahve people go into empty seats because people are tanking. Then you get less people in general, and less overall revenue for the team

*Redderder15* · 05-29-2022, 11:57 PM

Prompt 2

A small issue with noon starts for Jeff is that... he wakes up at noon. The change was unwanted but thankfully coach was able to allow Jeff to skip the morning skate. The new routine was going to be to now wake up and play right after, but after CoA vetoed that, Jeff decided to start waking up at 9 and attend morning skate, as well as stay up a few hours less to allow the new routine. Morning coffee is now shotgunned, and a new machine was built to help speed up dressing times on and off the ice by up to 50%. Otherwise, Jeff hasn't changed much as he sticks by his motto "I'm going to change the league more than the league changes me" and continues to stay strict to a stay up to at least midnight routine. Rumor has it coach is not pleased with this decision, but it is what it is.

ml002 · 05-29-2022, 11:59 PM

With the league's bold strategy of only noon puck drops, the Wolfpack are looking for new ideas to help get more senior butts in seats. Their first ploy is the Pack Bus which will run the all retirement communities in the Boston area to help get seniors to the arena and look to partner with local restaurants to help get more senior discounts. The next is offering free pudding cups with every combo meal because everyone knows that seniors love pudding and it's the little things that can make a difference in getting their attention. Next the team will be looking at getting bigger pucks to help with the seniors harder eyesight. The league office is still on the fence about such a big change however it's a necessary one to make sure we are catering to our most important fans now and to help keep them able to watch the games.

Credit to Copenhagen, Wasty, FlappyGiraffe, InciteHysteria, and caltroit_red_flames
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ACapitalChicago · 05-30-2022, 12:05 AM

Because games have been starting at 7 o'clock PM that means that Joseph Weston has a lot of time to fit in all his little rituals and pre-game prep strategies for every single game. Which is a lot of them. After all, it is correct that many professional athletes have strict regiments to make sure that they are in tip top shape for games. Joseph Weston has a tradition of always strapping his gear on twice, which does take a decent amount of time since he is extra careful when he does so. But when games start at noon for some ridiculous reason, this means that Joseph Weston does have to start getting ready even earlier than before. It may not be that much earlier than usual but still having to be entirely prepped at maybe 10 o'clock in the morning seems like a really excessive thing when games could just be later in the day like for real who on earth approved this, Head Office? What the hell??

S66 Damian Littleton

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***notorioustig*** · 05-30-2022, 12:17 AM

Kermit Murphy fucking hates matinee games with a passion. In fact, they make him want to punch a hole in his wall. Luckily, he's made enough money over the years that he can actually punch a hole in his basement wall and get it repaired later. This is how he chooses to start his day at 6am before a matinee game, along with a coffee with two cream and two adderall, before heading to the rink for, in his words, a "why the fuck are we even here" skate. As a self described night owl Muppet, Kermit much prefers to get up at an hour that does not start with a single digit number. When the matinee game is on the road, this is even worse as he sleeps poorly away from home. At home, it at least means he has more time in the evenings to fuck around, but he still makes sure to whine about it to anyone who will listen

***goldenglutes*** · 05-30-2022, 12:24 AM

starting immediately in order to try to corner the sixty plus market the simulation hockey league (also known as the shl) and simulation major junior hockey league (also known as the smjhl), in addition to starting games at noon (also known as 12 pm), will also be trying their best to entertain their young (in spirit) guests by running the show a little bit differently. firstly, during intermissions and also during tv timeouts, they will be showing old highlights from back in the day on the jumbotron, back when the game was not as soft as it is now and players could bash each others' heads in in order to win back to back dar trophies like our goat cameron carter the second. people will love reminiscing about the old era named after some guy called simon t! next, we will be opening many more bathrooms because bladders start to shrink as people get older or at least that's how i've justified myself needing to pee more nowadays, not sure if it is true (need to double check with our resident pee expert @hotdog). and finally we would be having nathan @micool132 explosion as the host of every hockey game because there is no shl player who is more popular with people from back in the day

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
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Mazatt · 05-30-2022, 01:24 AM

To appeal to the 60+ crowd requires invoking a sense of comfort within the people entering the building. So first, no more stairs. Ramps and escalators only. Well, some stairs just cause, but everything is wheelchair/scooter accessible for those who need it. Then, the seats themselves should essentially be recliners within the lower bowl (sorry grandma but you're gonna need to pay up if you want that comfort). This will also create a good avenue wherein the younger folk who can see good can watch the game from the upper bowls. With the seats there should also be headphones with the radio broadcast of the game to help them follow along with the fast movement of the game. Finally, there are going to be blenders at every single food stand on the concourse so that if an old-timer wants a hot dog but has no teeth, they can have the blend-o-dog. Each and every booth will have to prove prior to getting their license (or however arenas work) that their food is easily transferrible to a blended, smoothie format that does not detract from the experience. That way even the non-denture-inclined guests can enjoy the full experience of a hockey game.

***Vandy*** · 05-30-2022, 01:38 AM

I mean if you take the number of old people who like hockey and the number of old people who watch NCIS because its noise, you'll draw a circle. Out competing bingo and the wheel isn't hard, you just have to have 'skin' in the game, know what I mean? No? Dancing girls/guys. Ice girls/guys wearing "little" or having little in the way of clothing is great for the imagination. AARP membership giveaways and/or trips to Vegas or a voucher to an early bird special. To be honest, I'd be so stoked if someone offered me a round trip to vegas and a jazzy scooter because walking around drunk and being old has got to be an olympic sport. Though, driving a jazzy drunk could possibly count as a DWI so a tricky catch-22 there. Maybe the arena itself could offer an early bird buffet for season ticketholding oldsters, free food will cause a lot of people to show up. Imagine 10,000 old people all wanting a sammich to watch the game. Because that's what you'll end up with.

Dextaria · 05-30-2022, 02:36 AM

Creative Prompt:

To capitalize on the 60+ demographics, the afternoon games feature a bingo game to start where the first 10,000 fans that enter the arena get a bingo scratch card and the pre-game show is replaced with the announcer and jumbotron revealing bingo numbers. The first person to win the bingo gets $250 to their favourite grocery store. During intermissions, fans are also encouraged to come down to the shuffleboard room to practice their shuffleboard skills against fellow fans of the SHL. Moving on to food, the stadium will now offer a number of food options that are MUCH softer for the older crowd and much blander to accommodate everyone's tastes. The drinks alongside the food include grape juice which is a top seller for them. Last but not least, the fans get more chances to be a part of the experience by being able to press a button to shout instead of shouting themselves. This is a mechanical system developed specifically for older people.

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