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***lore*** · 12-13-2023, 11:12 PM

Technically pre-fight, but I couldn't resist putting together a match poster. :D

[Image: 52cZpYC.png]

karlssens · 12-13-2023, 11:24 PM

Code:
Written Task: Your player has been singled out by hockeyfights dot com as a total pushover who would probably lose a fight to a chicken. This is brought to your attention by a teammate, who thinks it's hilarious. Do you respond to this by instigating a fight next game, or by posting a picture of yourself eating chicken to that thread on hockeyfights dot com?

Curse you hockeyfights dot com. The nerve of those guys to point out the one glaring hole in Oskar Scholz' game. The young Pride skater talks a big game as a power forward, yet through 3 and half seasons he has yet to drop the mitts, let alone win a fight! I'm not sure how to big back in to SMJHL stats, but it's possible he didn't even a register a fight while in juniors either! With all this data in mind, or lack thereof, it's definitely possible Oskar could lose a fight to chicken, especially if the chicken has any fighting experience. Of those 2 options Oskar would likely lean steer clear of instigating a donniebrook in the next game, but the thought of a photo op with some chicken tendies certainly sounds appealing. It's much more his style too with a fun and goofy response to such a serious article.

***DrunkenTeddy*** · 12-14-2023, 01:31 AM

Dev PT pass

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**OrbitingDeath** · 12-14-2023, 05:56 AM

ISFL Affliate

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 12-14-2023, 10:38 AM

Option 2:

Ohhh there is a very obvious scenario here that I could envision myself ending up in: A good fish place! I just don't really like fish to the point where it is almost irrational because I really enjoy sushi, but as soon as you boil, grill or cook it, I just can't stand the taste and especially the smell. I can also point towards an event from my childhood where this is probably coming from, I still remember how as a young kid, we were visiting my grandma who was preparing this big special meal for the entire family and when I walked into the kitchen, it was full of these huge trouts staring into my sould with their dad fishy easy. This event traumatized me to this day, so having me team up with a place that mainly sells fish would make for an... interesting experience. They would definitely have to make sure to keep me away from those dead-eyed bastards during the shooting of the actual commercial or I might not be able to finish it...

***KaleSalad*** · 12-14-2023, 11:12 AM

ISFL affiliate

trella · 12-14-2023, 11:42 AM

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

tomtommen · 12-14-2023, 11:57 AM

Option 1:

Written Task: Your player has been singled out by hockeyfights dot com as a total pushover who would probably lose a fight to a chicken. This is brought to your attention by a teammate, who thinks it's hilarious. Do you respond to this by instigating a fight next game, or by posting a picture of yourself eating chicken to that thread on hockeyfights dot com?

In response to the rather amusing jab from hockeyfights dot com, Tom Pedersen of the Calgary Dragons opts for a lighthearted and witty retort over brute force or confrontation. Acknowledging the humor in the comment, Tom decides to take the high road, not to the penalty box but to social media. He posts a tongue-in-cheek photo on the thread, featuring himself enjoying a mouthwatering plate of chicken wings with a mischievous grin. The caption? "Fueling up for the 'cluck'iest fight of my life!" Choosing wit over brawn, Tom's post subtly flips the script, showcasing his good-natured spirit while playfully embracing the humorous comparison. His teammates join in on the fun, adding comments and emojis, turning the initial jest into a rallying point for camaraderie. Tom believes in letting his performance on the ice do the talking, but when faced with such playful banter, he never shies away from a clever comeback. After all, a little humor goes a long way in keeping the locker room atmosphere light and lively. The next time Tom Pedersen does a really great match he’ll tweet/chirp: “Winner winner chicken dinner”.

Words: 186

soevil · 12-14-2023, 12:33 PM

This is a simple answer for Austin Morley, he will pick a fight in the next game, but not for all the reasons that you think. First and foremost, Morley isn't a member of hockeyfights.com and isn't about to sign up for yet another forum or website membership, so that's reason one that posting a picture on the site is out of the question. Secondly, Morley doesn't like chicken, or really many other foods. If it isn't pizza or "pizza like", there is a high probability that he won't eat it. Finally, Morley is fully aware that the Manhattan Rage are in the midst of a 14ish game losing streak, and they desperately need someone the light the fire under the team. Morley will be the fire, the catalyst to jumpstart the team and breath life back into them. To start the next game, Morley will skate up to the opponents best player and throw the gloves down as a challenge. He wants to set the tone early, and win, lose, or draw, he hopes to spark his team and the fans of the SHL. (192 words)

Bongo · 12-14-2023, 02:35 PM

hockeyfights dot com has been after me for quite some time now. Surely, in junior, I was known as a fellow who did not mind dropping the mitts. However, when it came time to play post-junior, I really had to change my tune so to speak. But, at 5'11 and 170 LBs, the question remains, can I still chuck some hands?

I think my fighting days are over, truthfully. Micool may chirp me relentlessly for being unable to fight but it isn't about winning or losing, it's about knowing that risk of injury is too high. I am also a Brazilian jiujitsu purple belt so I have no problem if confronted in the future, but it doesn't quite translate to on the ice.

Instead of fighting on the ice where there is a serious risk of injury, I will pose a proposal to Mr Micool. Perhaps he and I can enter the cage and take this off of the ice. Surely, I'd win a battle of the wits, but Micool does not understand what it is like to be taken to deep waters by the most intelligent boat there is. So, with that being said, I would NOT instigate a fight; I'd take micool to the play pen, and toy with him in deep waters, where he is a fish and I, a Boat.

232 words

@micool132

Muerto · 12-14-2023, 02:47 PM

Option 1:

Written Task: Your player has been singled out by hockeyfights dot com as a total pushover who would probably lose a fight to a chicken. This is brought to your attention by a teammate, who thinks it's hilarious. Do you respond to this by instigating a fight next game, or by posting a picture of yourself eating chicken to that thread on hockeyfights dot com?

Grogu has been in one fight in his career, and, sure enough, he lost it. I don't even remember who it was against, pretty sure some regressing player trying to knock down and up and coming superstar but regardless, it was a long time ago. And, at the time, it was no surprise he got beat up. He was a 50 year old baby alien who had been stuffed in a metal egg for who knows how long. His understanding of the force was rudimentary at best. Heck, even a Stormtrooper could stuff him in a bag and punch him with no retaliation! But as the seasons progressed, Grogu was no unwilling to get dirty, almost every season he had had a few major penalties and he definitely leads his draft class in penalty minutes, so he learned how to be dirty and choppy to defend himself or even inititiate the goon play. But nobody has picked a fight with him for a while because they don't want to get force-choked. So, could he beat a chicken yes probably but it's true he probably won't get into too many more fights but that's just because he prefers scoring goals.

Vulfzilla · 12-14-2023, 03:50 PM

[Image: deepthoughtchicken.png?ex=658dd158&is=65...y=lossless]

Massive Coiler · 12-14-2023, 06:29 PM

Option 1:

I mean, they aren't wrong. If I had to rate my fighting ability out of, I don't know, let's say 20, I'd give myself a 5. But at the same time, I had a pretty good fight in juniors one time, fighting the league's leading scorer, resulting in our team coming back from a big deficit and winning. So maybe I'd be able to jump one of the smaller, more skilled guys on the other team. Ideally I do it in a game we're winning by a couple though. So yeah I think I'll settle on assaulting an unsuspecting guy who's minding their own business trying to play a game and make millions of dollars doing it. My strategy there would probably be to get the jersey over the head as quickly as possible, get a few cheap shots in and pray the refs break it up before someone bigger and stronger comes as the third man in and beats the absolute wheels off of me.

charlieconway · 12-14-2023, 09:42 PM

Quote:[...] Copying and pasting the prompt will deduct from your word count so if you do this make sure YOUR submission is 150+ words excluding the prompt.

Option 2:

Written Task: A quality restaurant that makes food your player does not particularly care for (for example a Mexican restaurant which is by all accounts quite solid, but your player doesn't like Mexican food) is asking your player to do an ad spot for them. Do they agree? Why or why not? Describe the ad spot if you choose to do it!

My player absolutely despises fish in any form or fashion so I’d imagine Jae-ik is approached by a seafood restaurant who want him to star in an ad.

To show that he is open minded, he will agree to star in the ad but the whole ad itself is just him screaming at fish, both alive and cooked types. The ad just winds up coming across as very aggressive, to the point that in order to save these fish from my player, the general public makes it a point to eat at this restaurant so they can save the fish from my player.

This turns out to be a 4D chess move on Jae-ik’s part as he really doesn’t mind fish when they’re alive and kicking. Unfortunately for him, the restaurant only pays him in vouchers redeemable at their restaurant. This sets off a colossal legal battle that culminates in a trial of the century which just so happens to be presided over by a retired fisherman turned judge who rules in favor of the seafood joint.

And that’s how Jae-ik Barron wasted his weekend.

***Rankle*** · 12-14-2023, 10:55 PM

Prompt 1

Pork Tenderloin doesn't need to prove to anyone that he can win a fight. You take one look at him and you KNOW that there is no chance that you could take down this behemoth of a man. At that, there is NO WAY that The Other White Meat would lose a fight to a damn chicken! Pork Tenderloin would absolutely take the opportunity to reply to the message board with him eating a whole roast chicken mukbang style. Probably 5-10 minutes of him just tearing and ripping and eating every scrap of meat left on the bones of that chicken. Pork Tenderloin is the superior meat. Chicken is nothing compared to him. He is what every meat wishes they were. A display such as this should quell any rumors that there is any hope of vanquishing Tenderloin in a fight, especially if your partner for the battle is going to be some kind of poultry.

Code:
156 words

Chomp Chomp Water Dog Barracuda

Scarecrow Noises Scarecrows

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