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S79 PT #5: Analytical Comments Due: Sunday, November 17th @ 11:59 PM PST

Option 1:

"Oh yeah, we're going to get slaughtered."

The pair of veteran analysts shared a look. Only a fraction of a second passed - the seasoned radioheads knew that the worst of all sins on live radio was to have dead air - but the incredulity was obvious. One coughed; the other laughed, hesitantly. "It's not going to be that bad, right?"

"No," said Simo, utterly unconcerned. "Me and the rest of the team talked about this before I came on and we all agree, we're going to get battered. Maybe we can fluke one win but Texas are going through, we know we're heading into a minefield."

Another shared look. Simo could almost hear the unspoken question - "...well, now what the hell do we say?" - and smiled a little. He had talked about it in the Argonaut locker room, mostly to check that nobody was going to get too offended if he came on and was brutally honest, but this wasn't even the first instance of one of the young Seattlites being blunt on the radio. Hell, Will Tomlander had totally thrown him under the bus a month or so ago, and Simo had known Will for...what, six years? Seven years now?

"Do you not think there's a path to winning at all?"

"Not unless the Renegades forget where Seattle is."

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(This post was last modified: 11-16-2024, 01:57 PM by Australiankek. Edited 1 time in total.)

Kevin Kim recently got an invite to a the famous Monarch TV in Minnesota, with no hesitation he accepted immediately, as Kevin wanted to provide more insight to the Minnesota Monarchs that might not have been clear yet. In addition, many people online have been curious about his own life in the SHL and the challenges he had to persevere to get to be a superstar. As the podcast begun, they immediately started asking many questions about Kevin in particular and he always answered as thoroughly as possible. When the podcast was about to finish, the podcasters asked one last question.

"What is the Monarchs goal for next season? Will they go all in with the players they have right now or go in a full rebuild?"

"Each and every year, our main goal is to win games," Kevin started, "whether we are in a tough position or we are the favorites to win the cup, winning will be the thing that motivates all of our team. Although winning is what we strive for, in the situation we are in right now, that might be challenging. For what the Monarchs are deciding to do with this core is out of my reach for now, our GM and coach are always having meetings which we have no say in. So unfortunately, I cannot comment on what the team is going to look like in the future, however I know one fact, that they are putting all their effort into making this team successful, and nothings going to change that fact." Kevin answered in pride.

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                               Canada Knights Monarchs Thank you Enigmatic and Jaypc8237 for the sigs!  Monarchs Knights Canada
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2.

Ace Lightning has been asked to do some commentating for a big pro tennis tournament happening in Toronto. He has some spare time since Toronto lost in the first round and thought this was a great opportunity to learn some new skills as retirement is closer than not. Ace knows nothing about tennis, but his name is Ace so that’s pretty cool. In order to prepare for the role, he decided to watch the Zendaya movie “Challengers” and that got him hooked pretty good. It was an educational movie and he learned more about tennis than if he has picked up a book or watched an actually tennis match.

The money offered wasn’t very good, in fact it was only a voluntary position, and Ace performed the commentary role much like an unpaid intern would. Not very good. He was not very good at matching the speed of the tennis match and kept asking where Andre Agassi was.

The other day, Texas Renegades player König Wolf joined the Renegades broadcast panel to discuss how their playoffs had been going, how they’ve been playing and the upcoming matchups and this is what they had to say.

“I’ve been feeling alive and incredible out on the ice. I’ve managed to help out huge in both the regular season and playoffs. I am no elite star by any means, but a point per game in the regular season has me helping out the team and now I’m 9 goals in 9 games on the playoffs.

It took a bit to get used to the way Texas plays their games compared to New Orleans but once I broke into things, it’s been great. I’m really feeling things in these playoffs and it’s a part of why my stats are so good and why we’re also 8-1 or something like that. I’m leading the team in goals and I couldn’t be feeling any better right now.

I’m excited for the next rounds and am looking to help the team push into the finals. Let’s chase that cup!”






Dominik would be more than happy to go on the local sports media shows to talk about his teammates. Of course, he would be more than a bit uncomfortable talking about himself because that's not the kind of person he is, but he would have to at some point. That is the point where it would go from fun to uncomfortable for Dominik, and where you could see it really get to him. Getting to talk about Loga, Edzus, Viktor, Levin and Justin, for example, would give him a lot of joy to be able to brag about his teammates and how wonderful they've been, especially considering most of them have been with Dominik his entire career. It's rare for a player nowadays to get to brag like that and get a chance to spend so long with one team and group of players, and it's something that Dominik is very proud of and considers to be one of the best parts of his time in the league.

WC: 168




Alex Winters (retired)
Matej Winters (retired)
Dominik Winters
S45 Jesster Trophy Winner
Challenge Cup Winning Goal Club: S52

When they ask you to join the great one and talk hockey . . . you cram your giant ass head in a nice suit and dance like a little circus clown.

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Citadelles Blizzard

Elvar Gil-Galad was prompted by his coach to do a colour commentary for a table tennis tournament. The funny part is that Elvar knows little to nothing about table tennis. The second funniest part of the story is that it was for a local high school and practically none of the kids were very good at the sport, but according to Elvar, they all played with a lot of heart. The winner took a trophy and got a picture with the Great Falls goalie.

While the tournament was ongoing, Elvar found his mind drifting back to season 3 of the Mandalorian. Though, they tried hard, it was pretty weak. And not more than a few people agreed that the show was going to have a hard time out doing the end of season 2 where they went full Luke Skywalker. Talk about jumping the shark. How do you hope to do better than that? At this point... people want to see Pedro's face.



Norway  Norway  Norway  Norway  Norway  Norway  Norway 
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syndicate  syndicate syndicate  syndicate syndicate  syndicate  syndicate  syndicate  syndicate  syndicate  syndicate



"If the pay is THAT damn good then I'm going to take the offer in a heartbeat. I've never been the smartest cookie in the classroom but I've always had enough care that if I'm putting myself into this situation here, I have to make the most and the best of it. Growing up I had that stuntman mentality, I wouldn't think about how bad or dangerous things would be until I'm about to do them. Sometimes things are simple enough that when you do 'em, it's not even close to as bad as others think. I got 12 hours to learn an entire new sport and I have at least 12 hours to do this game justice with a great broadcast but also time to learn players, teams, history, how the game works, it's so much and while I can't perfect everything... I'll be able to give a perfect commentary and make the best of it."

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Written Option 2: Your player is invited to guest star as a commentator (either colour commentator or play-by-play) by another sports league! The pay is absolutely incredible, but there’s just one catch! Your player knows nothing about the sport and has to be there in 12 hours. Do they accept? Do they refuse the massive amount of money? How do they prepare? Do they just wing it or spend the next 12 hours meticulously studying? How does it go? Do they make a fool of themselves or are they charismatic enough to make a good guest star?

Tom Pedersen would never turn down a silly amount of cash for an easy job. Except maybe switching citizenship to Sweden for whatever reason. That will not happen even if they offer stupid money. Tom Pedersen would just wing in plain and simple. And let everybody know that he doesn’t know anything about it at all. And therefore run free since everybody knows he will get a shitload of money. Tom Pedersen does not take himself that seriously anyways. He can always mock or make a joke about himself at any time and anywhere. And will of course not have a problem talking about nonsense for any duration of time. It is almost like answering PTs in the SHL. And does Tom Pedersen even have to talk on the broadcast? He can just be a pretty face for the older woman to look at while watching some boring sports event that nobody knows anything about. Probably some older men that like to watch Tom Pedersen face blush as well. Good night

Words: 171

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Written Option 1: After a successful regular season in Newfoundland, they're looking for more in the playoffs. Hannah was invited to the desk to talk about Game 7. She says that Newfoundland needs to beat Anchorage and for Quebec City to lose to Yukon. Then she says that it'll be an easy trip to the 4-Star Cup. But after her statement, she says that the 4-Star Cup will be tough to win after beating Yukon potentially. Hannah also tells the desk that her relatives are coming for this game and she just doesn't want to lose. Newfoundland has been hot all season long. They were one of the contenders for the 4-Star Cup. Since Hannah likes talking to media, she felt comfortable being up on the desk. Unfortunately, the result comes out disappointing as Hannah and the Zerks lose 8-3 to the Armada in Game 7. Newfoundland ends short of the cup once again. This may also be Hannah's last season in the Js, because her agent, via reports on the SHL News Network, talked to the GM of the Buffalo Stampede and the GM said that they are considering her.

"Why would you want to ask me about the upcoming playoff match?"

Plenty of mics have found their way in front of Violet for random charity events, required team get-togethers, and post-game opportunities. But as someone who's low on the totem pole, Violet never really gets asked because how is a third-line player going to have any insightful answers against another playoff caliber team? And further, why would they ask when she doesn't even know who she's playing?

"It doesn't seem quite fair to assume we're facing Philadelphia if the series hasn't ended yet, I think. The Barracuda have had our number just about all season, frustratingly. Max Carnage on Tampa Bay scores a stupid number of points, and Johnny Wagner-Svenson is simultaneously one of the most skilled and hardest hitting forwards in the game. Why would we count them out, even with Philly ahead and with a better regular season record?"

Violet chooses to head back to the locker room at this point.

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Thanks @Amidships!

Anastasia Söderström isn't the loudest voice in the room, but during media interviews she can have a pretty witty if dry sense of humour. Ahead of Calgary's first-round playoff matchup with the defending champion Los Angeles Panthers, she's perfectly willing to poke fun at her own up-and-down rookie campaign as the Dragons' starting goalie, but she's also diplomatic and earnestly thankful for the opportunity she has to play professional hockey. Ana has the opportunity to give a little glimpse into what life on the road for a professional athlete can be like, which helps her to connect more with the fans. At some point the on-ice side would be discussed, where she would try not to give the other team anything they could use as bulletin-board material but would do her best to hype up the fans. While other players on the Dragons are the more adept motivational speakers, Ana has the unique ability to subtly say what everyone is thinking but with few words.

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philippe eko eel was asked to join in a broadcast of the International Simulation Football League for some unclear reason (he doesn't know anything about football) but also for some unclear reason he accepted the invite. the game is between the Arizona Outlaws and the Orange County Otters. he thought this was entertaining since he knows otters and one of his best friends in the workd (eko van otter) is an otter so he figured if otters can play football then surely he'll catch on quickly enough. well he didn't quite realize that the orange county otters are sea otters (eko van otter is a river otter and wasn't able to provide any insights regarding sea otters) and actually furthermore the team is made up entirely of humans not even otters at all. he entered the game expecting to be a huge otters fan but actually found himself drawn to the arizona outlaws. the outlaws dominated the game and had some fun guys out there like a duck at quarterback and some smooth green guy on the offensive line. the broadcast wound up being a huge success - the fans appreciated philippe eko eel's insights as an elite athlete from another sport and his lack of football knowledge didn't get in his way

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thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs
Armada Inferno Norway

Written option 2: Adam Joy has been offered a chance to be a colour commentator for a Lacrosse game. The only problem is he's never seen it before, and although he isn't knowledgeable about the sport, he is broke and needs the money. Thankfully, Joy knows people (don't ask questions) and knows someone who knows someone who plays Lacrosse, so he decides to do some research and talk with his friend to try and learn before it starts, he spends the whole 12 hours practicing and learning terms and the rules. Finally, after 12 hours, he heads to the stadium meets the main commentator and gets prepared. The game begins and Joy sits back nerves on fire but ready, Joy has a decent start but halfway through he makes a mistake and instantly knows he screwed up the booth goes silent and then the main commentator chuckles then moves on filled with embarrassment Joy just sat there only speaking up a couple of times before the game finishes. Once the game ends he rushes home goes for a shower and jumps into his bed full of shame.

Graphics Option 1

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