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SHL Onion: Trade Could Have Happened to Any Inactive Goalie
#1
(This post was last modified: 06-11-2020, 04:21 PM by StamkosFan.)

Imagine blaming your GM for trading for an active goalie and getting salty. This is why controversy has arisen on the forums after a green and white team traded their goalie following a disappointing playoffs. It was baffling to some how this could happen, and a sign that inactive goalies across the league must fear for their place on the team.

“We do everything right. We see the ping to update and we debate whether to do it when we feel generous. We do our activity checks half the time, we go on discord once a month, and we ignore the team’s progress just like anyone else. It could happen to anyone who isn’t fighting regression, nobody is safe. I don’t see how anyone could blame the goalie here,” said the man at the center of the drama.

The logical action in this case was to bombard the forums with attacks on the team’s GM and bragging about one’s performance. Some might think that an increased media presence demonstrates that the inactive goalie had the will and the time to participate more in the past but that is just too reasonable to be true.

There were just no warning signs; since when does missing the playoffs three seasons in a row due to poor goaltending merit a change? A win now team shouldn’t try to make a move to get better at the expense of a player who might care out of nowhere. The goalie is the hero and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot who should have zero success for the rest of their career.

Up next on the Onion News Network: Why is one guy still willing to do podcasts when they take too much time and voice to text pays more?

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#2

I wish I went inactive

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UsaScarecrowsBlizzardSpecters | [Image: specterspp.png][Image: spectersupdate.png] | TimberArmadaSpectersFinland

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#3

1. This is good content

2. "Why is one guy still willing to do podcasts when they take too much time and voice to text pays more?" Fuck me I knew I should've pounced on that sooner

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S66 Damian Littleton


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#4

The salt is getting in the way of the satire

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#5

As the president of the Inactive Goalie Players Association I have some issues with this post


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#6

Just giving your opinion with a passive-aggressive tone isn't satire. Just respond to AW's post if you wanna call him out

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#7

06-11-2020, 05:24 PMGwdjohnson Wrote: Just giving your opinion with a passive-aggressive tone isn't satire. Just respond to AW's post if you wanna call him out
I mean it’s a knock off of this actual Onion thing https://youtu.be/he6O9nZ3CZs

Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

[img=0x0]https://i.imgur.com/ByNN8Jn.gif[/img]
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#8

06-11-2020, 05:33 PMStamkosFan Wrote:
06-11-2020, 05:24 PMGwdjohnson Wrote: Just giving your opinion with a passive-aggressive tone isn't satire. Just respond to AW's post if you wanna call him out
I mean it’s a knock off of this actual Onion thing https://youtu.be/he6O9nZ3CZs

Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

Oh ok my bad lol that's on me.

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#9

06-11-2020, 05:33 PMStamkosFan Wrote:
06-11-2020, 05:24 PMGwdjohnson Wrote: Just giving your opinion with a passive-aggressive tone isn't satire. Just respond to AW's post if you wanna call him out
I mean it’s a knock off of this actual Onion thing https://youtu.be/he6O9nZ3CZs

Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

Don't listen to the haters I like these

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UsaScarecrowsBlizzardSpecters | [Image: specterspp.png][Image: spectersupdate.png] | TimberArmadaSpectersFinland

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#10

Good on you for not putting this to get buried in another thread, put a mans on blast the way he's tryna do it to New England.

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#11

I love you

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Fuck the penaltys
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