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***JKortesi81*** · 11-19-2021, 05:44 PM

Covid wasn't great for anyone, but it did spur the "Calgary Dragons Poker Nights". I got to be a part of those during the whole end of the world there, and the entire time I was laughing and having a blast. Playing "Danger Zone" and making fun of Izzy was some of the best times.

Jepox · 11-19-2021, 06:30 PM

The best prank in hockey is the good old sock tape on the skate blades gag. Bonus points if the recipient has a significant other or family coming to watch their game and the first thing they get to see is them eating shit before the game has even started.

Wongy · 11-19-2021, 06:31 PM

What happened on the charter flight? All the hockey players were seated according to the position they play; one of them almost froze to death on the left-wing.

DrB1gMack · 11-19-2021, 07:12 PM

I dont know if you are familiar with the first mario party that came out on switch, but that game introduced each character to having their own special dice. Some of those dice has the possibility of rolling a 0. Anyway my buddy and I were playing and he used a golden tube to go 1 space away from the star but he forgot he was using his special dice, all this dude needed was a 1 but because 0 was possible, that is what he got. He wasted his golden tube because he rolled a 0.

Credit to Redderder15 for the sig
[Image: UDU9SiD.gif]

Dewalt27 · 11-19-2021, 07:30 PM

This is my favorite joke my roomate told me

Guy walks up to a widow at her husbands funeral and says May I just say a word?
Widow: Sure
The Guy: Plethora
The widow: Thanks. That means a lot.

Serpe x 13 · 11-19-2021, 08:04 PM

I heard a joke about the Great Falls Grizzlies goalie, Brick Wall, that he licks his goalie pads pre game and that he doesn't know we have sprayed funny smells on them while we was not looking.

Z-Whiz · 11-19-2021, 08:10 PM

I have this running bit with a lemonade salesman where I'll go up and ask him if he has any grapes. He continually says no, but one day he offered to go buy me grapes. So when he brought the grapes out (and was no longer in front of his lemonade stand), I asked him if he had any lemonade. Classic gag.

Pickle Juice · 11-19-2021, 08:55 PM

Back when I was in high school, vapes/ecigs were just becoming a mainstream thing among the younger generations. I watched a freshman swing on a senior because the senior told him "smoke a cigarette like a real man you fucking pussy" while he was vaping in a bathroom stall. Was fucking hilarious.

Obsidian311 · 11-19-2021, 09:21 PM

I have an ostomy bag, so my oldest kid thought it would be funny one time when I changed it to fill up a fresh one with nutella, then when I know someone is looking pull that one out and dip a finger in and hesitantly taste it... then once I have "decided" that I like it I just go to town pulling out what looks like shit from an ostomy bag and eating it. My wife veto'd this with a hard no lol.

visceralpotamus · 11-20-2021, 12:20 AM

A month or so ago I decided to participate in fantasy both in the SHL as well as in the ISFL. Free TPE, worst that can happen is I end up with one or two teeps towards my player. Fast forward and I'm DFL in both leagues so abolish fantasy TPE imo

inverted · 11-20-2021, 02:38 AM

So a Texan goes to hell and the devil sees him relaxing, wearing jeans and drinking lone star. The Devil is angry at this sight "what are you doing?" asks the devil "Do you have any idea how hot it is?" The Texan, between sips of beer, replies "this is nuthin, feels like a nice spring in Texas." The devil decides he needs to turn up the heat, literally. After a few days of this new, hotter hell the devil returns to the Texan and sees him in shorts and a t-shirt, drinking a margarita. Seeing the devil redder and angrier than evr the Texan yells over "this reminds me of summers in Texas!" Now the devil is clever and has a trick up his sleeve. This time he turns the heat all the way down. Now it is freezing, much colder than hell or Texas have ever been. Hell has completely frozen over. So the devil wastes no time and goes to see how the brash Texan handles this. The Texan is excited, shooting his guns in the air and yelling "The Rangers won the world series!"

Cobbenstein · 11-20-2021, 03:34 AM

So, there is a muffin baking tray in the oven making some muffins. One muffin turns to the other muffin to his left and goes "Sure is hot today isn't it?" the other muffin looks up yells "Oh my God a talking muffin!"

That's it. That's the whole joke. I don't know why I ever found that funny but it used to kill and I still kind of like it.

kikish18 · 11-20-2021, 04:15 AM

@KenitohMenara Like a week ago ken typed that he is going to sim at night. I got really pumped up, I had early work and I knew there is a chance that I could see it. Like an absolute idiot, I opened the shl webpage opened that "current" live stream and I saw that I'm only like 7 min away. I got more pumped up! I made a quick cheese and salami sandwich, opened the stream and started to follow. The game was up to and I typed everything that happened in discord. Game was awesome. Parmborg @Steelhead77 with hatty. I scored too, wild game! HYPE WAS REAL! Then I was waiting for the next one and saw ken writing to me if anyone simming behind his back. I was like... What the hell! That's not You? I got confused as fuck. It was SHL's official Youtube channel so I had no idea who is doing it. And then... And then ... I saw S60... S60... I was laughing off my chair after that.

***goldenglutes*** · 11-20-2021, 07:19 AM

there was that one time when we all told @Gwdjohnson that players ball didn't exist it was so funny hahahaha right @Briedaqueduc @micool132 what a prank! one of the best pranks in recent memory in my opinion

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
[Image: 9vAsr7c.png]

wumaduce · 11-20-2021, 07:46 AM

One of the best jokes I've ever heard is also probably one of the darkest, but it usually takes a second to register with people.

A baby seal walks into a club.

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