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***sve7en*** · 08-30-2022, 10:12 PM

[684 words. Not a lot here, not sure what to say, not a lot of time to prep.]

This is the tenth entry on The Player's Tribune in an ongoing series following hockey player Jimmy Wagner through his journey of playing professionally. You can read his first piece “Hey Dad” here, or view the index of his entries here.

Once upon a time, I would have given anything to leave Los Angeles. I hated it here, I had no friends, and I didn’t feel like I belonged here. I would have given anything to go back to Charlotte. I didn’t spend much time with the team, and I asked for a trade before stepping on the ice for the Panthers.

Funny how things change.

Management change, Chris came over from Carolina as the interim GM for the draft, we brought friends of mine over. Fox was hired to run the team, some people left and some people came on board. I started making some friends in Los Angeles, I put on the teal and orange, and things started falling into place. Kate and I got married, I was a captain, for a good part of that stretch I was the face of one of the most storied franchises in hockey. Life in LA was great.

We kept progressing, grinding.

We made the finals.

Next season we won the cup.

Everything I had worked for, that the whole team had been working for, actually came true. We broke the curse, we lifted the cup, we partied through the streets of Los Angeles. To have all that work realized, and to do it for a city so desperate for success, nothing will replace that feeling. I could win five more titles and none of them would come close to matching what came of that journey and that choice to stay a Panther a decade prior.

Most of my adult life has been spent here now, we’ve had highs and lows, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. The friendships I’ve made through hockey have been stronger than I could have ever imagined. These people - the veterans like Phillip Winter and Knox Booth that welcomed me in, the youth like Yannick Svoboda following in my footsteps, and the ones with me for more than one step of the journey like Joseph Weston and Fox - they became my family. Watching children grow up, listening to music on the bus, talking about our goals and accomplishments off the ice, these have been some of the closest friends I've had. The time I’ve spent with them has been nothing short of amazing and I truly expected to spend another decade with them. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work out that way, and the business side of the sport has to come out on occasion.

It's a surreal experience to find out you're being traded, and it's impossible to describe the mixture of emotions I've felt today. It's one of the saddest feelings I've had playing hockey, worse than losing to Hamilton three seasons ago easily. After that, you get back on the horse and give it another go. This one is different. No more Staples Center, different faces, different places, and no chance to run it back. At the same time, I'm excited. There's a chance to continue playing, competing for titles, and that's why many of us are here at this level. Seattle has proven they're a well run team, and once division foes will make great teammates moving forward. I'm sure we can accomplish great things.

At one point I wanted nothing more than to leave the west coast, but for the good of the organization I stayed put. Now, I wanted nothing more than to stay in Los Angeles for the rest of my career, for the good of the organization I have to leave. I hope things turn out as well as they did the first time I did what was right for the Panthers.

To whomever picks up the “C”, wear it proudly, I have no doubt you’ll do great. It's time for someone else to have a turn though.

Farewell, City of Angels

I’ll be back.

Jimmy Wagner

Forward, Seattle Argonauts