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*roastpuff* · 05-26-2022, 03:59 PM

In order to draw more of an afternoon crowd and possibly boost revenue, the Toronto North Stars have decided that they will do bingo games during the intermission, as well as on ice lawn bowling. During the game there are also special promotions for denture fixatives, cleaning supplies and life alert services. That way the old timer crowd that attends since they have free time and don't have to work like the rest of the nine to five schmucks can spend their retirement money on items that may benefit them. Interestingly, these promotions also appeal to some of the Toronto North Stars players as they are getting up there in age, such as Harry Carpet and Ruslan Zaporozhets. These old timers will definitely be needing these services sooner or later, and the Toronto North Stars might benefit by using these aging veterans to promote these services in the long run as sponsorship opportunities.

tweedledunn · 05-26-2022, 04:22 PM

player prompt

natedoeshockey · 05-26-2022, 04:51 PM

Prompt 1

Oh no! Patya see ticket sales go down and am many sads! Patya want for perform for big crowd! Patya love play in front of peoples! Noon starts? This very early. How am Patya supposed for get warm up skate? How am Patya supposed for get loose for shoot puck? Oh well, Patya am figure this out. Patya know many other things SHL can do for bring in more crowd. Firstly, arenas am needing more food options. SHL is lacking in this. Patya learn this very important and many arenas for other leagues am having much high quality food and inventive things. There was question about this once, Patya remember because it not many times ago. SHL should do this. Intermission entertainment is have dogs on ice. Patya knowing people am loving dogs, so this make many sense to Patya. Is much cute, yes? Also, maybe am have ice dance performances. Patya just brainstorming. Maybe am having more signed gear giveaway like puck, stick, and jersey. People am liking these very much! Patya not sure if this out perform Bingo and Wheel of Fortune but SHL am try best!

Gooney · 05-26-2022, 05:56 PM

oh what the heck? the new time is so different and now im am going to have to adjust. luckily for tommy westbrook but this time i upd its a piece of cake because he is adaptable and moldable kind of like a piece of bread pre oven. so like he can mold and be able to wake up ealrlier. the whole key of having a good day is waking up on time and making sure you have time to destress and visualize about upcoming day. so tommy west brook but this time i upd will wake up a few hours ealrier and drink his coffee with like his little english muffins with some butter or also maybe raspberry jam. after that he throws rocks at the wall near his home and then starts skating fast with beans of rice. then its off to the rink for another amazing day of shl hockey.

***micool132*** · 05-26-2022, 07:54 PM

PLAYER PROMPT-

In the Atlanta Inferno, the team from the Simulation Hockey League, locker room, Angus McFife the Eighteenth has a really strict training regimen, when he is asked about it, here is how he explains it.

First of all, I start my day doing a hundred situps, a hundred push-ups, a hundred squats then I go run 10km. Everyday. This is how I get in such good shpae to score many gols.

HE also does all his training without air conditioner to develop toughness.

McFife is also known for being an avid snak lover. He ordered some almonds from Greece and I swear he loves eating those to fuel him with energy. He really loves these nuts.

When Angus jumps on the ice, he makes sure to chat around with all the teamates and staff to try and steal tips from them and then use them in game. He doesnt believe much in practicing his own skills on the ice because he think he has perfected his shot and pass and its all that matters, time to work on the stuff others do well and steal their thunder.

nour · 05-26-2022, 08:36 PM

For the SHL to really start to appeal to more age groups, specifically the older ones like those in the 60 year old age range, the game is gonna have to ditch everything that is modern and fun for the most part. This may come at the expense of every age group under 60 but for that coveted 60+ group? I would sacrifice damn near the entire world. That means no more digital tickets allowed, only paper ones, and they can't be printed on a home printer either you gotta buy them from a box office. In addition, we're ditching the "Play Boy Carters" and the "Little Waynes", so we can play some REAL music like The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. Lastly, to really appeal to our old kings, we're gonna providing entertainment in between periods that these geezers can really appreciate, like bingo, shuffleboard (on ice), long rants about immigration from guest host Don Cherry, and instead of a t-shirt cannon we'll instead have a cannon that shoot grocery store coupons.

**First GM in SMJHL history to win 3 Four Star Cups back-to-back-to-back**

5ympathies · 05-26-2022, 09:27 PM

If my games now start at noon, rather than the usual time that everyone, not just the players, but even the fans are used to, then it is no problem for me. All I will be doing differently, is instead of doing what I do in the afternoon, I will just be doing it in the morning instead. Essentially, in common terms, for the common man, I will just be doing everything 7 hours earlier. Including sleeping, going to bed, resting myself at night, all those three distinct things that are not the same thing. I will turn into a night owl. I will go to bed in the wee hours of the morning. No that's not true, I will go to bed in the evening maybe around 6. And then I will wake up bright at early at 1 or 2, maybe I will even sleep in until 3am, and then I will eat and get ready for the game and I will play optimally.

Thanks to JSS for the signature

r0tzbua · 05-26-2022, 10:27 PM

ISFL Affiliate

Julio Tokolosh · 05-26-2022, 11:34 PM

The SHL's silver aspirations will be maximized through a few tokolosh tricks. The national anthem will be played before each period in order to say thank you to the greatest generation. I know my dating is a little off, and the current 70's crowd is more of the "Vietnam Vet" crowd, so maybe the arenas just play the intro to "fortunate son" looping the entire time during all frozen pucks. I'm just now realizing that my parents are in this target age group, so the MC should play a little more Bruce Springsteen, Dire Straights, and Train than I previously thought.
If the rest of the demographic is similar to my parents, there will be a program where you can sell your seat back to the arena. Leaving early is a staple of elderly sporting events. Beating traffic is more important than beating your opponent. You shouldn't have to pay for a full 3 periods if you plan on leaving with 10 minutes left in a tied game.

Kyamprac · 05-27-2022, 02:51 AM

ISFL Affiliate

*Festinator* · 05-27-2022, 02:55 AM

Creative prompt:

Alright so all games now start at new and we're aiming to get those oldies but goldies watching more hockey. Well I think the next best thing is to realize that many of our seasoned friends may not have the greatest of eye sight, so starting now, play by play will not only just be for tv, they will be announced live at games too for everyone to hear. No need to squint and try to figure out who exactly that is with the puck, our in house play by play broadcasters will let you know exactly who that player is and what they're doing! As for intermissions, during the first intermission, we will introduce 10 minute yoga for the old folk to stretch out those muscles. Don't wanna put their back out on the way to the washroom. Speaking of washrooms, portapotties on the staircases so they don't have far to go. And speaking of staircases, they are all now escalators, to make it safer to go up and down.

***aleks*** · 05-27-2022, 03:56 AM

my name is aleksandr iskandrov. my house is in the south section of Vancouver. I make sure to always get 9 hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing 20 minutes of stretches and aerobic exercises, mostly plyometric, I usually have no problem going to bed. i sleep very soundly. i wake up with no stress or fatigue or grogginess in the morning, 2 house before the game. in the morning, if my face face is oily, I put on a full experience face moisturizer to perfect my look, while doing pushups. i can do five thousand now. i put on a full body mud mask, which is meant to remove any dead skin weighing me down. i do not use any shampoo or conditioner with zinc pyrithione as it dries out your hair, making it look thinner, and thereby making you look a lot older. i do all of this because I care about how other people see me, and my value to society is how I am percieved

Lorec · 05-27-2022, 06:51 AM

ph

*JURT* · 05-27-2022, 09:51 AM

The number one complaint we keep receiving from fans of a more venerable age is that the music is too aggressive and too loud. Say your goodbye to Enter Sandman, Burnin' It to the Ground, Bro Hymn, Killing in the Name, Rock You Like a Hurricane, Lose Yourself, Blitzkrieg Bop, Chelsea Dagger, and every other fabled and storied hockey song you can think of. Maybe these songs were once the ones to make the crowds vibrate during intermissions or after goals, but not anymore. They have been replaced by old jazzy classics with the occasionnal straight up classical music. People now come onto the ice to the tune of Pachelbel's Canon in D major and goalsongs make you want to do jazz hands, and all of it is at a volume that lets old people who smoked all their lives and have no teeth left communicate orally even when the music is playing. Food is also all liquid now.

Gifter of Bikes · 05-27-2022, 09:53 AM

2 -

Getting ready for games 7 hours earlier than normal is perfectly fine with Eero Makela. "This works out great for my family and friends back home," the Finn said after the change was announced. "Back in Tampere, they only get to watch games live when it's the weekend because they are so late, but now it will let them watch without having to go to work so exhausted the next day."

"Besides," Makela added, "it's not like I have any pregame rituals or superstitious things I need to do, I I can just readjust to my native time zone. It will also make things easier during the off-season, when I return home."

The change in the schedule is happening because the league's attendance numbers are way down, likely due to a lack of parity. The hope is that some old time hockey earlier in the day will lead to a lot of ticket sales from the senior citizen community. Nothing like 12 thousand octogenarians in a big, cold room to get you excited.

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