1. Written, 3 TPE, Ups and Downs (150 words min.)
 Well, certainly a season of feverish heights and despairing lows for Pasta the Turtle. Chief amongst his challenges this year was being subjected to the traumatizing and horrific branding out of the Vancouver Hockey Club. They continued using their outdated, insensitive, and frankly outwardly violent team name, despite Pasta's best efforts to bring light to these injustices. His Cetacean allies feel incredibly uncomfortable supporting a specist league that condones this type of behaviours. Nevertheless, with the support of wonderful teammates, the Berserkers were able to turn a negative into a positive, both by easily dispatching the Vancouver Hockey Club on the ice, as well as raising a substantial amount of money for charities dedicated to saving whales. Finally, the obvious high of the season was the dominating performance the Newfoundland team had, setting regular-season records, as well as culminating the season with a resounding 4 star cup victory. Pasta is so grateful to his team mates and especially the leadership group for making this happen. (166 words)

3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min.)
Poof! Pasta the Turtle wakes up in the dainty body of Steve Harrington, of the Buffalo Stampede. He gazes down at his soft mushy body, disgusted at the lack of protection. How do humans live like this? A protective epidermal layer with the structural integrity of wet cardboard. So this is what the human species put forth as their offering of an athlete? Sad. As his gaze lowers from his luscious locks, his flat chest, his unremarkable abdomen, and his thin hips, his eyes are suddenly alerted to a source of incredible beauty. Long and slender legs with minimal hair follicles, leading to agile and dainty toes, Pasta gasped in disbelief. He wriggled his toes and admired their versatility. "Goodness" he wondered aloud, "I surely could easily engage in the bizarre human mating ritual of intertwining toes with potential mates with these industrious appendages."
He stood up and walked around on the clumsy stilts humans called legs, and admired how incredible these particular stilts felt as he practiced walking, skipping, and finally prancing around the bedroom. "By the luck of Munk," he said to himself " I am certain to dominate the opposition with sexy legs such as these."
Then he did. (201 words)

6. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min.)
My prediction for IIHF is a return to form for Canada, as well as Great Britain. I do not project either of them to win, but rather that they do not embarrass themselves again. Canada has too much talent to be so unlucky, so I suspect things get back on track for them. Great Britain compounded a poor performance by making a questionable hire with @steveoiscool, but I suspect they;; be able to overcome that error to go deep in the tournament.

I feel that it is a fool's game to go against a repeat performance out of Japan, especially with @"Minnesotafine" running the show. Dominant players who have developed an appetite for success, as well as displayed the tenacity and grind required to win the whole thing, I definitely see them repeating. Ryuuji Minamino is a dominant player and fearless leader, and I can only imagine the type of devastation he will leave in his wake.


16. slash's secret bonus prompt SHHHHHH. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min.)
The evening starts with a casual stroll around my favourite pond. We will eventually settle on a half-submerged log that protrudes from the middle of the body of water. We will rest motionless and silently as we absorb heat from the sun in order to allow our blood to be sufficiently heated so as to circulate oxygen efficiently. We will proceed to submerge underwater in search of aquatic plant life that will serve as an appetizer. Typically beer is the drink of choice, but tonight is special so I bust open a box of wine, which we pair with a delightful bit of decaying lettuce I had found on our walk. Finally, the night ends with a firm but friendly embrace, and we part our separate ways (127 words)

15. CW trivia 3 TPE - Penne verification word

17. Milestones,  3 TPE

17 TPE total (in case I mess up a trivia Q