simon takshak is not an alien he is a human born on earth

unlike @HanTheMan_'s player i forget his name but he comes from europa or some shit

e

I think that Bud Weiser might be an alien. He makes strange sounds at night and rarely shows up for practice. But when he does he shows up quite literally glowing. An aura of blue on his face before he takes a sip of his beer and comes back down to normal. An odd fellow, I don't trust him.

Bás O'Bigbers [S57] || LW || Edmonton Blizzard || TPE:1633
Age: [S57]
Birthplace: Swords, Ireland
Height: 5'10
Weight: 170
Number: 9
Son of Guts O'Bigbers [S39]
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted in the 1st Round 9th OVA of the S56 SMJHL Draft by the Newfoundland Berserkers
Drafted in the 1st Round 16th OVA of the S57 SHL Draft by the New England Wolfpack
S63 Traded by the New England Wolfpack to the Winnipeg Aurora
S66 Traded by the Winnipeg Aurora to the Edmonton Blizzard
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats
S56 || NL || GP: 50 || G: 9 || A: 13 || P: 22 || ATOI: 12:19 ||
S57 || NL || GP: 66 || G: 11 || A: 17 || P: 28 || ATOI: 17:44 ||
S58 || NL || GP: 66 || G: 21 || A: 32 || P: 53 || ATOI: 18:20 || "A" ||
S59 || NL || GP: 66 || G: 15 || A: 34 || P: 49 || ATOI: 16:09 || "C" || 
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Stats
S60 || NEW || GP: 66 || G: 21 || A: 29 || P: 50 || ATOI:  ||
S61 || NEW || GP: 66 || G: 24 || A: 22 || P: 46 || ATOI:  ||
S62 || NEW || GP: 66 || G: 25 || A: 27 || P: 52 || ATOI:  ||
S63 || NEW/WPG || GP: 63 || G: 17 || A: 29 || P: 46 || ATOI:  ||
S64 || WPG || GP: 36 || G: 23 || A: 20 || P: 43 || ATOI:  ||
S65 || WPG || GP: 36 || G: 23 || A: 20 || P: 43 || ATOI:  ||
S66 || EDM || GP: 36 || G: 23 || A: 20 || P: 43 || ATOI:  ||
------------------------------------------------------------
Trophy Case
Named Assistant Captain of the Newfoundland Berserkers S58
S58 SMJHL All Star
S58 SMJHL 2nd All Star Team
S58 Zack Miller Trophy Winner
Named Captain of the Newfoundland Berserkers S59
S60 Ryan Jesster Trophy Winner
S64 All Star
[/pbl]

Guinness O'Bigbers [S68] || LW || Former Terrible Player || TPE: Low, very low.
Age: [S68]
Birthplace: Swords, Ireland
Height: 5'11
Weight: 200
Number: 9
Son of Guts O'Bigbers [S39]
Brother of Bas O'Bigbers [S39]
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted ?
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats
S56 || NL || GP: 50 || G: 9 || A: 13 || P: 22 || ATOI: 12:19 ||
[/pbl]

Bas O'Bigbers Jr. [S68] || C || Detroit Falcons || TPE: Low, very low.
Age: [S78]
Birthplace: Swords, Ireland
Height: 5'11
Weight: 200
Number: 9
Son of Bas O'Bigbers [S57]
Grandson of Guts O'Bigbers [S39]
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted ?
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats
S56 || NL || GP: 50 || G: 9 || A: 13 || P: 22 || ATOI: 12:19 ||
[/pbl]

Some weird guy named Slap McShotty could be an alien. I mean, what kind of name is that? It looks like some kind of memey play on words. I hear his thoughts sometimes, too. I would trust that guy.

hodOOOOr'hOOOdoooooooor hoooodor hOOdOOORRRR, Hooooooodooooorrrr HoooooddddddddoooooooRRRR

Hodor || D || Texas Renegades
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Hodor
Age: 30
Height: 7' 2"
Weight: 400
Number: 1
TPE: 1732
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contracts:
DFA S65: Newfoundland Berserkers - $1M x 1 yr + $2M bonus
Rookie S66: Regina Elk - $2M x 3 yr + $2M HO Bonus

Awards:
SMJHL S65: Four Star Cup finalists (NL)
SMJHL S67: Alexis Metzler Trophy nominee (REG)
WJC S67: Gold Medal (DACH)
SMJHL S68: Elias Armia Award nominee (REG)
SMJHL S69 (nice): Zach Miller Trophy nominee (DET)

Player Movement:
SMJHL S65: Signed Draftable Free Agent with Newfoundland Berserkers
SMJHL S66: Drafted 9th by Regina Elk
SHL S67: Drafted 6th by Texas Renegades
SMJHL S69 (nice): Traded to Detroit Falcons


SMJHL Stats || SHL Stats
PORTAL


Retired - Slap McShotty || C || New England Wolfpack
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Slap McShotty
Age: 38 (18 @ S46 SMJHL Draft)
Height: 6' 4"
Weight: 220
Number: 84
Peak TPE: 2041
Retired: End of S65
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contracts:
SMJHL S46: Anaheim Outlaws - $3M x 1 yr
SHL S47: New England Wolfpack - $2M x 2 yrs
SHL S49: New England Wolfpack - $4M x 2 yrs
SHL S51: New England Wolfpack - $4M x 3 yrs
SHL S54: New England Wolfpack - $3M x 3 yrs (HTD)
SHL S57: New England Wolfpack - $4M x 3 yrs (HTD)
SHL S60: New England Wolfpack - $4M x 3 yrs (HTD)
SHL S63: New England Wolfpack - $4M x 1 yr (HTD)
SHL S64: New England Wolfpack - $3M x 1 yr (HTD)
SHL S65: New England Wolfpack - $4M x 1 yr

Awards:
SMJHL S47: Four Star Cup - Anaheim Outlaws
IIHF S49: Named Alternate Captain - Switzerland
SHL S49: Mathias Chouinard Trophy (East Champion) - New England Wolfpack
SHL S52: Away Alternate Captain - New England Wolfpack
SHL S53: President's Trophy - New England Wolfpack
SHL S53: All-Star Team
SHL S53: Richan Trophy Nominee
SHL S55: Captain - New England Wolfpack
SHL S60: Jeff Dar Trophy

Player Movement:
SMJHL S46: Drafted 43rd (5th round) - Anaheim Outlaws
WJC S46: Team USA
SHL S47: Drafted 16th (1st round) - New England Wolfpack
WJC S47: Transferred to DACH
IIHF S47: Transferred to Switzerland
SHL S48: Called up to SHL

Jobs:
S47: Hired as SMJHL Intern (through S48)
S47: Hired as Updater/Auditor (through S49)
S48: Hired as SMJHL Pick Tracker (current)
S50: Hired as Fantasy Manager (current)
S51: Hired to SHL PT team as contractor (current)
S56: Appointed Co-GM of NEW (through S56)
S57: Hired as Historian (current)

Stats Pre-S53 || Stats S53+


S53 All-Star and Richan Trophy Nominee
S60 Jeff Dar Trophy Winner
Never forget

If I had to wager a guess at who's an alien around here, it would have to be Esa Parmborg. No human man is capable of the high level of play he's shown around the league whilst eating as many chicken parms as he consumes.

Word Count: 45

Sachimo Zoidberg III - 1,166 TPE - Dragons
SHL Regular Season
S58 - 66GP-8G-20A-28P-+45-115SOG-54H-52SB
S59 - 66GP-4G-27A-31P-+29-148SOG-40H-82SB
-----------------------
SHL Playoffs
S58 - 5GP-0G-2A-2P--2-5SOG-6H-8SB
S59 - 6GP-0G-2A-2P--1-11SOG-4H-11SB
-----------------------
SHL Totals
-----------------------
SMJHL Regular Season
S55 - 50GP-5G-14A-19P--39-91SOG-41H-127SB
S56 - 50GP-5G-12A-17P-+4-86SOG-10H-96SB
S57 - 66GP-4G-9A-13P--25-90SOG-59H-145SB
-----------------------
SMJHL Playoffs
S55 - 4GP-0G-0A-0P-0-6SOG-5H-11SB
S56 - 5GP-1G-2A-3P--2-7SOG-0H-11SB
S57 - 5GP-0G-1A-1P--3-8SOG-3H-7SB
-----------------------
SMJHL Totals
Final - 180GP-15G-38A-53P--65-289SOG-118H-397SB
-----------------------
International Play
S55 - 15GP-1G-2A-3P-+7-9SOG-4H-11SB
S56 - 15GP-1G-5A-6P-+5-14SOG-6H-19SB
S57 - 12GP-0G-1A-1P-+2-21SOG-13H-28SB
-----------------------
Achievements
S55-Drafted 44th Overall by Nevada (4th Round)
S55-Silver Medal in WJC with Canada
S55-All-SMJHL Rookie Team
S56-Drafted 13th Overall by Calgary (1st Round)
S56-Gold Medal in WJC with Canada

I think Keenan is an alien because he is searching for them. I thought aliens can see each other but it serms like he is a different alien. I am not really a specialist in aliens but he definitely is one of them.

Asclepius Perseus Flitterwind || RW || S55 || Anaheim Outlaws || Hamilton Steelhawks Prospect

Age: 18

Height: 6ft 3in

Weight: 213 lbs

Number: 27

------------------------------------------------------------

Transactions:

Signed $1,000,000 contract with Colorado Raptors for S53

Drafted 30th overall by Colorado Raptors in the S54 SMJHL Draft

Signed $4,000,000 contract with Colorado Raptors for S54

Drafted 47th overall by Hamilton Steelhawks in the S55 SHL Draft

Signed $2,500,000 contract with Hamilton Steelhawks for S55

Signed $3,000,000 contract with Hamilton Steelhawks for S56

Traded from Colorado Raptors to Anaheim Outlaws (S56)

------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Career Statistics

S54 LAT GP: 12, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -8, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 2, SB: 3, TOI: 6:55, GR: 49, OGR: 51, DGR: 47

S55 LAT GP: 12, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -9, PIM: 0, H: 0, SHT: 3, SB: 2, TOI: 6:35, GR: 48, OGR: 51, DGR: 45

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Career Statistics

S53 COL GP: 12, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -2, PIM: 4, H: 2, SHT: 8, SB: 3, TOI: 8:32, GR: 50, OGR: 50, DGR: 51

S54 COL GP: 50, G: 12, A: 7, P: 19, +/-: +1, PIM: 12, H: 9, SHT: 96, SB: 21, TOI: 14:12, GR: 57, OGR: 58, DGR: 56

S55 COL GP: 50, G: 18, A: 24, P: 42, +/-: +5, PIM: 18, H: 26, SHT: 138, SB: 29, TOI: 18:02, GR: 64, OGR: 62, DGR: 65

S56 COL/ANA GP: 51, G: 15, A: 23, P: 38, +/-: -17, PIM: 10, H: 21, SHT: 139, SB: 37, TOI: 16:49, GR: 65, OGR: 71, DGR: 57

------------------------------------------------------------

WJC Career Statistics

S54 UCL GP: 12, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: 0, PIM: 4, H: 2, SHT: 18, SB: 8, TOI: 12:51, GR: 57, OGR: 60, DGR: 57

S55 UCL GP: 12, G: 2, A: 1, P: 3, +/-: 1, PIM: 2, H: 6, SHT: 10, SB: 7, TOI: 14:06, GR: 60, OGR: 57, DGR: 60

------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Playoff Statistics

S54 LAT: Did not qualify

S55 LAT: Did not qualify

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Playoff Statistics

S53 COL GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 3, SB: 1, AMG: 8:20, GR: 50, OGR: 50, DGR: 50

S54 COL GP: 5, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 12, SB: 0, TOI: 14:03, GR: 59, OGR: 56, DGR: 60

S55 COL GP: 6, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: 0, PIM: 2, H: 0, SHT: 15, SB: 4, TOI: 22:06, GR: 62, OGR: 59, DGR: 65

------------------------------------------------------------

WJC Playoff Statistics

S54 UCL GP: 3, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIM: 4, H: 1, SHT: 3, SB: 0, TOI: 11:47, GR: 55, OGR: 57, DGR: 53

S55 UCL GP: 3, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: 0, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 0, SB: 1, TOI: 13:44, GR: 61, OGR: 60, DGR: 59

------------------------------------------------------------

Awards:

Named to SMJHL All-Rookie Team (S54)

The Casius Darrow Throphy (most outstanding rookie in Raptors) (S54)

WJC Gold Medal with UCORCAL (S55)

Named to SMJHL All-Star Team (S56)

------------------------------------------------------------

Achievements:

First goal with first shot in SMJHL (S53)

First hat-trick in SMJHL (S54)






Gvidas Kazlauskas || LW || Retired

Age: 21

Height: 5 ft 10 in

Weight: 191 lbs

Number: 27

------------------------------------------------------------

Transactions:

Signed $3,000,000 contract with Kelowna Knights for S41

Drafted 65th overall by Colorado Raptors in the S42 SMJHL Draft

Signed $3,000,000 contract with Colorado Raptors for S42

Drafted 43rd overall by Los Angeles Panthers in the S43 SHL Draft

Signed $9,000,000 contract with Los Angeles Panthers for S43, S44 and S45

------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Career Statistics

S42 LAT GP: 10, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: 0, PIM: 0, H: 4, SHT: 5, SB: 0, AMG: 6.35

S43 LAT GP: 10, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -2, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 7, SB: 0, AMG: 7.44

S44 LAT GP: 10, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: +1, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 19, SB: 0, AMG: 8.21

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Career Statistics

S42 COL GP: 50, G: 19, A: 20, P: 39, +/-: +8, PIM: 18, H: 35, SHT: 150, SB: 4, AMG: 17.18

S43 COL GP: 50, G: 12, A: 14, P: 26, +/-: +8, PIM: 6, H: 29, SHT: 147, SB: 6, AMG: 15.95

S44 COL/DET GP: 50, G: 16, A: 19, P: 35, +/-: -5, PIM: 6, H: 45, SHT: 158, SB: 10, AMG: 16.63

------------------------------------------------------------

WJC Career Statistics

S42 LAT GP: 10, G: 3, A: 7, P: 10, +/-: 0, PIM: 6, H: 12, SHT: 22, SB: 1, AMG: 18.10

S43 LAT GP: 14, G: 9, A: 7, P: 16, +/-: +6, PIM: 10, H: 15, SHT: 53, SB: 3, AMG: 19.01

S44 LAT GP: 14, G: 1, A: 8, P: 9, +/-: -1, PIM: 13, H: 12, SHT: 54, SB: 2, AMG: 19.69

------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Playoff Statistics

S44 LAT GP: 3, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: +1, PIM: 0, H: 1, SHT: 3, SB: 0, AMG: 9.11

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Playoff Statistics

S41 KEL GP: 15, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: +2, PIM: 2, H: 2, SHT: 3, SB: 0, AMG: 3.77

S42 COL GP: 4, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIM: 2, H: 6, SHT: 10, SB: 0, AMG: 19.66

S43 COL GP: 7, G: 4, A: 2, P: 6, +/-: +5, PIM: 7, H: 8, SHT: 21, SB: 1, AMG: 15.68

S44 DET GP: 7, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIM: 2, H: 3, SHT: 20, SB: 0, AMG: 15.04

------------------------------------------------------------

WJC Playoff Statistics

S42 LAT GP: 1, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: +1, PIM: 0, H: 2, SHT: 7, SB: 0, AMG: 22.30

S43 LAT GP: 2, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: +1, PIM: 2, H: 1, SHT: 11, SB: 0, AMG: 18.93

S44 LAT GP: 1, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: +1, PIM: 0, H: 0, SHT: 2, SB: 0, AMG: 18.48

------------------------------------------------------------

Awards:

S41 Four Star Cup with Kelowna Knights

S42 Esa Anrikkanen Trophy - Top Rookie

S44 Laurifer Trophy - Team with best overall Record - with Detroit Falcons

S44 IIHF Silver Medals with Team Latvia

------------------------------------------------------------

Achievements:

Best point scorer (39 points) among rookies in SMJHL (S42)

Best goal scorer (19 goals) among rookies in SMJHL (S42)

3rd best goal scorer (19 goals) in SMJHL (S42)

5th best point scorer (39 points) among LW in SMJHL (S42)

1st Hat Trick in SMJHL (S43)


Justs Sirmais || C || Retired
Name: Justs Sirmais

Position: C

Player Type: Sniper

Height: 6 ft 5 in

Weight: 231 lbs

Number: 7

------------------------------------------------------------

Signed 2-yr/$2.5mil deal with Portland Admirals

Traded to Hamilton Steelhawks

Signed 3-yr/$4mil deal with Hamilton Steelhawks

------------------------------------------------------------

Awards:

S30 KEL MVP

Laurifier Trophy: Kelowna Knights

Roberto Martucci Trophy: Justs Sirmais

With how obviously amazing @Ace played in the regular season, the obvious conclusion would be him being an alien. The 60+ shot save game vs Toronto was simply astounding.

Theodor Larsson


SMJHL

Team: Maine
Drafted: 21st OA
By: Maine Timber
Games played: 228
Goals: 49
Assists: 79
Points: 138
----------------------------------------
Playoffs
Games played: 41
Goals: 5
Assists: 17
Points: 22



SHL

Team: San Francisco Pride
Drafted: 8th OA
By: New England Wolfpack
Games played: 195
Goals: 15
Assists: 49
Points: 64

----------------------------------------
Playoffs
Games played: 11
Goals: 1
Assists: 4
Points: 5



Achievements/History

S53 WJC Silver
S54 Team Sweden WJC GM
S55 Assistant Captain of Maine Timber
S56-S57 Captain of Maine Timber
S57-S59 New England Co-GM
S57 WJC Silver
S59 Traded to San Francisco Pride
----------------------------------------

I think the whole head office could be aliens. Sort of a whole, mole men in the center of the earth/takeover thing. Assimilating into our culture through means of sim hockey leagues.

Wilhelm von Hindenburg II  || Center || Kelowna Knights || 268 TPE
Name: Wilhelm von Hindenburg II
Birthplace: Germany
Height: 6'6
Weight: 220 lbs
Number: 44
Drafted: SMJHL- Round 2, Pick 28, Kelowna Knights
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Career Accomplisments:
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S69 | 68 GP | 18 G | 12 A | 30 P | -2 | 18 PIM | 69 H | 27 SB | 94 SOG | 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                   Jarmo Kekäläinen  || Left Wing || Texas Renegades || 1411 TPE [RET]
Name: Jarmo Kekäläinen
Birthplace: Finland
Height: 6'1
Weight: 185 lbs
Number: 72
Drafted: SHL- Round 2, Pick 19, San Francisco Pride
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Career Accomplisments:
WJC S57 Gold (Finland)
WJC S58 Gold (Finland)
WJC S59 Silver (Finland)
SMJHL S57 2nd Team All-Star
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S56-59 | 247 GP | 63 G | 96 A | 159 P | +15 | 68 PIM | 202 H | 151 SB | 562 SOG | 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S60 [MTL] | 66 GP | 11 G | 19 A | 30 P | -23 | 14 PIM | 86 H | 60 SB | 139 SOG |
S61 [MTL] | 66 GP | 08 G | 19 A | 27 P | -10 | 20 PIM | 85 H | 67 SB | 135 SOG |
S62 [MTL] | 66 GP | 13 G | 13 A | 26 P | -82 | 32 PIM | 69 H | 130 SB|114 SOG |
S63 [MTL] | 66 GP | 09 G | 19 A | 28 P | -40 | 18 PIM | 63 H | 98 SB | 130 SOG |
S64 [TEX] | 66 GP | 12 G | 18 A | 30 P | +18| 18 PIM | 74 H | 64 SB | 144 SOG |
S65 [TEX] | 66 GP | 24 G | 25 A | 49 P | -21 | 26 PIM | 103 H | 127 SB | 187 SOG |
S66 [TEX] | 66 GP | 24 G | 39 A | 63 P | -27 | 45 PIM | 116 H | 61 SB | 229 SOG |
S67 [TEX] | 66 GP | 17 G | 29 A | 46 P | -30 | 37 PIM | 96 H | 60 SB | 169 SOG |
S65 [TEX] | 66 GP | 23 G | 28 A | 51 P | -40 | 24 PIM | 93 H | 31SB | 154 SOG |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOT         | 594 GP | 141 G | 209 A | 350 P | -255 | 234 PIM | 785 H | 698 SB | 1393 SOG |

Ohh man. I hope that he is the only one alien in this league. I am afraid of them. Haha.. But maybe I'm an alien , too? Who knows, who knows.. Everyone of us can be an alien.

Do you know who isn't an Alien? Pojo Biscuit. I've definately never seen him out late at night, standing in the field behind the rink completely buck naked, conversing with several grey aliens. Their horrible, distented bodies bent down to speak with him but their attitude one of reverence. As if speaking to their superior. I definitely wasn't caught soon after and I definitely haven't had my mind altered in order to make sure I never divulge that Pojo Biscuit is, in fact, an alien. Because he's not.

88 words

Andren Akerson (Present)
Adrik Baranov (S55 to S70)
Rurik Razin (S32 to S44)
Roy Razin (S17 to S32) (HOF/Rage HOF)
Audun Wissink (S5 to S15)

I was suspicious when I played with him in New Orleans, but I now feel confident that DeMaricus Smyth is indeed an alien. I mean, he is still playing at a high level in the SHL, he just keeps going!! No human can play for as long as and as well as Smyth, there's no other answer.

sig by @Bruins10 

       

 

Lyle Odelein III || D || New Orleans Specter || Crow Alum || Team Canada
Name: Lyle Odelein III
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 210 lbs
Number: 24 

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Regular Season Stats
 S47 | STL | GP: 50 | G: 2 | A: 5 | P: 7 | +/-: +13 | H: 25 | SB: 22 | S: 13 PIMS: 26
 S48 | STL | GP: 50 | G: 9 | A: 24 | P: 33 | +/-: +9 | H: 87 | SB: 62| | S: 80 | PIMS: 62

 S49 | STL | GP: 50 | G: 4 | A: 29 | P: 33 | +/-: -1 | H: 26 | SB: 65| | S: 76 | PIMS: 20

------------------------------------------------------------

SHL Regular Season Stats
 S50 | NOLA | GP: 50 | G: 1 | A: 14 | P: 15 | +/-: +18 | H: 76 | SB: 40 | S: 40 PIMS: 26

 S51 | NOLA | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 11 | P: 14 | +/-: +8 | H: 54 | SB: 30 | S: 28 PIMS: 30 

 S52 | NOLA | GP: 50 | G: 5 | A: 20 | P: 25 | +/-: +11 | H: 70 | SB: 55 | S: 95 PIMS: 32 

 S53 | NOLA | GP: 50 | G: 7 | A: 19 | P: 26 | +/-: +4 | H: 91 | SB: 52 | S: 100 PIMS: 28 

------------------------------------------------------------

WJC Tournament

 S47 | CAN | GP: 26 | G: 2 | A: 5 | P: 7 | +/-: +8 | H: 13 | SB: 21 | S: 13 PIMS: 10

 S48 | CAN | GP: 14 | G: 2 | A: 14 | P: 16 | +/-: +11 | H: 22 | SB: 24 | S: 13 PIMS: 14 

 S49 | CAN | GP: 14 | G: 2 | A: 8 | P: 10 | +/-: +5 | H: 24 | SB: 12 | S: 12 PIMS: 8 

------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Tournament
 S49 | CAN | GP: 12 | G: 0 | A: 0 | P: 0 | +/-: 0 - | H: 0 | SB: 2 | S: 2 PIMS: 0

 S50 | CAN | GP: 12 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: 0 - | H: 3 | SB: 10 | S: 3 PIMS: 0

 S51 | CAN | GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 1 | P: 2 | +/-: 2 - | H: 7 | SB: 10 | S: 10 PIMS: 2
 S52 | CAN | GP: 12 | G: 3 | A: 2 | P: 5 | +/-: 1 - | H: 9 | SB: 12 | S: 28 PIMS: 6

 S52 | CAN | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: 12 - | H: 17 | SB: 13 | S: 25 PIMS: 14

------------------------------------------------------------

Career achievements

S47 - WJC - Gold medal w/ Team Canada

S48 - SMJHL - Named Alternate Captain for St. Louis Scarecrows 

S48 - WJC - Gold medal w/ Team Canada 

S48 - WJC - Won Harvey Danger award w/ Team Canada - best defender at WJC 

S50 - SHL - Called up to play for NOLA 

S50 - IIHF - Won bronze medal w/ Team Canada 

S52 - Named Alternate Captain for New Orleans Specters

------------------------------------------------------------

If I had to make a guess at who in the league if an alien in disguise I would say its my good friend the lightning lord, Lord Raiden.

Patrice Nadeau || G || SMJHL:  Lethbridge Lions S45-S47 || SHL: San Francisco Pride S46-S54 || Peak: 723 TPE|| Retired: S54
Name: Patrice Nadeau
Shoots: Left
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 218 lbs
Age: 49
Born: Québec City, QC, Canada
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Total Regular Season Statistics:
GP:113 || GS:110 || W:53 || L:52 || OTL:6 || GA:281 || SA:2813 || SV%:0.900 || GAA:2.58 || SO:10 || MIN:6531 || G:0 ||A:8 || PTS:8 || PIM:4 ||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Total Playoff Career Statistics:
GP:13 || GS:13 || W:4 || L:6 || OTL:2 || GA:50 || SA:327 || SV%:0.847 || GAA:3.91 || SO:0 || MIN:767 || G:0 ||A:1 || PTS:1 || PIM:2 ||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHL Total Regular Season Statistics:
GP:135 || GS:125 || W:65 || L:53 || OTL:4 || GA:369 || SA:3772 || SV%:0.902 || GAA:3.00 || SO:8 || MIN:7381 || G:0 ||A:2 || PTS:2 || PIM:17 ||
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SHL Total Playoff Career Statistics:
GP:0 || GS:0 || W:0 || L:0 || OTL:0 || GA:0 || SA:0 || SV%:0 || GAA:0 || SO:0 || MIN:0 || G:0 ||A:0 || PTS:0 || PIM:0 ||
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International Total Career Statistics:

WJC || GP:60 || GS:53 || W:29 || L:20 || OTL:5 || GA:141 || SA:1325 || SV%:0.894 || GAA:2.76 || SO:5 || MIN:3063 || G:0 ||A:2 || PTS:2 || PIM:2 ||
IIHF || GP:90 || GS:90 || W:27 || L:54 || OTL:7 || GA:313 || SA:2942 || SV%:0.894 || GAA:3.68 || SO:2 || MIN:5109 || G:0 ||A:2 || PTS:2 || PIM:12 ||
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Guðmundur Kristjánsson || LW/C/RW || SMJHL: Colorado Raptors S54-S56|| SHL: NEW:S55-S62, CHI:S63-S65, WPG: S66-S71, HAM: S72 || Peak: 2048 TPE || Retired: S72
Name: Guðmundur Kristjánsson
Shoots: Right
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 185 lbs
Age: 40
Born: Reykjavík, Iceland

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SMJHL Total Regular Season Statistics:
GP:150 || G:20 || A:52 || P:72 || +/-:-5 || PIM:34 || HIT:34 || PPG:11 || PPP:14 || SHG:0 || SHP:0 || SB:78||S:256 || S%:7.81 ||
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SMJHL Total Playoff Career Statistics:
GP:22 || G:5 || A:12 || P:17 || +/-:0 || PIM:4 || HIT:5 || PPG:0 || PPP:5 || SHG:0 || SHP:0 || SB:14||S:54 || S%:9.26 ||
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SHL Total Regular Season Statistics:
GP:1056|| G:271|| A:615|| P:886|| +/-:124|| PIM:421|| HIT:1060 || PPG:49|| PPP:149|| SHG:4 || SHP:11 || SB:785 ||S:2716|| S%:09.98||
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SHL Total Playoff Career Statistics:
GP:177 | G:49 || A:75 || P:124 || +/-:12 || PIM:36 || HIT:239 || PPG:2 || PPP:5 || SHG:0 || SHP:0 || SB:138 ||S:437 || S%:11.21 ||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
International Total Career Statistics:

WJC || GP:43 || G:8 || A:23 || P:31 || +/-:2 || PIM:10 || HIT:21 || PPG:4 || PPP:9 || SHG:0 || SHP:0 || SB:23||S:90|| S%:8.89||
IIHF || GP:178 || G:49 || A:84 || P:133 || +/-:47 || PIM:84 || HIT:170 || PPG:14 || PPP:30 || SHG:2 || SHP:6 || SB:128 ||S:395|| S%:12.41||
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Florian Söderberg-Motyla || C || SMJHL: Yukon Malamutes S72-S75 || SHL: Toronto North Stars S73- || Peak: ???? || Drafted 1st Overall by Toronto North Stars
Name: Florian Söderberg-Motyla
Shoots: Right
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 243 lbs
Age: 24
Born: Zakopane, Poland

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SMJHL Total Regular Season Statistics:
GP:264 || G:80 || A:180 || P:260 || +/-:8 || PIM:177 || HIT:351 || PPG:28 || PPP:80 || SHG:1 || SHP:7 || SB:66 ||S:561 || S%:14.26 ||
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SMJHL Total Playoff Career Statistics:
GP:49 || G:13 || A:32 || P:45 || +/-:17 || PIM:20 || HIT:71 || PPG:3 || PPP:7 || SHG:0 || SHP:2 || SB:14 ||S:117 || S%:11.11 ||
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Henrik Lekberg Osterman is clearly an alien. He scored a remarkable 66 points this season for San Francisco, a team a lot of people had written off, to take them to playoffs. Clearly not human at the very least as no mere human could have performed so well.

the alien is obviously goldenface. the nefarious villain and lifetime nemesis of michael scarn is currently disguising himself as a human being with the los angeles panthers and michael scarn must defeat him again

[S46] Michael Scarn - F - Philadelphia Forge
Drafted #17 Overall Season 45 Draft by Colorado Raptors
Drafted #27 Overall Season 46 Draft by Winnipeg Jets
TPE: 1500 | Lifetime TPE: 2122 | Peak TPE: 2057
============================================================
Career Highlights:
5x SHL Challenge Cup (S55, S56, S58, S61, S63)
2x SHL All-Star 1st Team (S57, S58)
2x SHL All-Star 3rd Team (S55, S56)
1x Sarmad Khan Trophy (S57)
1x Sergei Karpotsov Trophy (S57)
1x IIHF Silver Medal (S53)
2x IIHF Bronze Medal (S49, S54)
============================================================
SHL Regular Season:
SHL S47 (WPG): 50 GP, 15 G, 11 A, 26 P, +/-: +3, 24 Hits
SHL S48 (WPG): 50 GP, 08 G, 15 A, 23 P, +/-: +2, 24 Hits
SHL S49 (WPG): 50 GP, 11 G, 13 A, 24 P, +/-: -9, 33 Hits
SHL S50 (BUF): 50 GP, 12 G, 12 A, 24 P, +/-: +4, 68 Hits
SHL S51 (BUF): 50 GP, 15 G, 15 A, 30 P, +/-: +1, 7 Hits
SHL S52 (BUF): 50 GP, 20 G, 25 A, 45 P, +/-: +3, 8 Hits
SHL S53 (BUF): 50 GP, 19 G, 34 A, 53 P, +/-: +11, 157 Hits
SHL S54 (BUF): 50 GP, 20 G, 38 A, 58 P, +/-: +32, 107 Hits
SHL S55 (BUF): 50 GP, 20 G, 40 A, 60 P, +/-: +34, 123 Hits
SHL S56 (HAM): 50 GP, 13 G, 42 A, 55 P, +/-: +37, 124 Hits
SHL S57 (HAM): 66 GP, 36 G, 57 A, 93 P, +/-: +54, 129 Hits
SHL S58 (HAM): 66 GP, 36 G, 45 A, 81 P, +/-: +11, 141 Hits
SHL S59 (SEA): 66 GP, 18 G, 41 A, 59 P, +/-: +17, 142 Hits
SHL S60 (SEA/HAM): 64 GP, 23 G, 39 A, 62 P, +/-: -7, 112 Hits
SHL S61 (HAM): 66 GP, 27 G, 33 A, 60 P, +/-: +45, 112 Hits
SHL S62 (HAM): 66 GP, 27 G, 43 A, 70 P, +/-: +41, 95 Hits
SHL S63 (HAM): 66 GP, 24 G, 32 A, 56 P, +/-: +43, 82 Hits
SHL S64 (PHI): 66 GP, 23 G, 31 A, 54 P, +/-: +29, 79 Hits

Career: 1026 GP, 367 G, 566 A, 933 P, +/-: +351, 1567 Hits
============================================================
Trophy Case/Achievements:
S44 WJC Gold Medal, Team Czechoslovakia
S46 WJC Gold Medal, Team Czechoslovakia
S48 SHL Cole Reinhart Trophy, Winnipeg Jets
S49 IIHF Bronze Medal, Team Czechia
S52 SHL Nomination for Aiden Richard Trophy - Most Improved Player
S53 IIHF Silver Medal, Team Czechia
S54 SHL Nomination for Jeff Dar Trophy - Best Two-Way Forward
S54 IIHF Bronze Medal, Team Czechia
S55 SHL Challenge Cup, Buffalo Stampede
S55 SHL All-Star 3rd Team
S56 SHL Challenge Cup, Hamilton Steelhawks
S56 SHL All-Star 3rd Team
S57 SHL All-Star 1st Team
S57 SHL Sergei Karpotsov Trophy - Most Points
S57 SHL Sarmad Khan Trophy - MVP Voted by Players
S58 SHL Challenge Cup, Hamilton Steelhawks
S58 SHL All-Star 1st Team
S61 SHL Challenge Cup, Hamilton Steelhawks
S63 SHL Challenge Cup, Hamilton Steelhawks
============================================================
Transactions:
S46 Signed 1 YR / $5.5M contract with Winnipeg Jets
S46 Traded to Halifax Raiders from Colorado Raptors
S47 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M contract with Winnipeg Jets
S48 Signed 3 YR / $18M extension with Winnipeg Jets
S50 Traded to Buffalo Stampede from Winnipeg Jets
S50 Signed 5 YR / $30M extension with Buffalo Stampede
S55 Opted out of 1 YR / $6.0M mutual option with Buffalo Stampede
S55 Signed 1 YR / $8.0M extension with Buffalo Stampede
S56 Signed 1 YR / $9.5M contract with Hamilton Steelhawks
S57 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M extension with Hamilton Steelhawks
S58 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M extension with Hamilton Steelhawks
S59 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M contract with Seattle Argonauts
S60 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M contract with Seattle Argonauts
S60 Traded to Hamilton Steelhawks from Seattle Argonauts
S61 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M contract with Hamilton Steelhawks
S62 Signed 1 YR / $5.0M extension with Hamilton Steelhawks
S63 Signed 1 YR / $5.0M extension with Hamilton Steelhawks
S64 Signed 1 YR / $6.0M contract with Philadelphia Forge
============================================================
Playoff Statistics:
SHL S48 (WPG): 19 GP, 6 G, 8 A, 14 P, +/-: +5
SHL S49 (WPG): 5 GP, 1 G, 0 A, 1 P, +/-: -1
SHL S50 (BUF): 6 GP, 3 G, 1 A, 4 P, +/-: +3
SHL S51 (BUF): 8 GP, 2 G, 3 A, 5 P, +/-: +5
SHL S52 (BUF): 15 GP, 6 G, 4 A, 10 P, +/-: -1
SHL S53 (BUF): 4 GP, 0 G, 3 A, 3 P, +/-: -1
SHL S54 (BUF): 13 GP, 2 G, 6 A, 8 P, +/-: -2
SHL S55 (BUF): 17 GP, 6 G, 7 A, 13 P, +/-: +6
SHL S56 (HAM): 18 GP, 6 G, 13 A, 19 P, +/-: +7
SHL S57 (HAM): 14 GP, 5 G, 9 A, 14 P, +/-: 0
SHL S58 (HAM): 19 GP, 6 G, 17 A, 23 P, +/-: -4
SHL S59 (SEA): 10 GP, 6 G, 3 A, 9 P, +/-: -2
SHL S60 (HAM): 10 GP, 1 G, 7 A, 8 P, +/-: -2
SHL S61 (HAM): 19 GP, 6 G, 15 A, 21 P, +/-: +17
SHL S62 (HAM): 22 GP, 3 G, 11 A, 14 P, +/-: +4
SHL S63 (HAM): 25 GP, 5 G, 9 A, 14 P, +/-: +5

Career: 224 GP, 64 G, 116 A, 180 P, +/-: +39

 

I think Axel Meszaros might be an alien. First of all, he has a weird name. This is hockey, so a weird name isn’t really that uncommon. So, I think the better indication he might be an alien is his extreme incompetence on the ice. It’s like he doesn’t even know what hockey is. How does a player like that make it to a professional league? Alien mind control device. That is the only reasonable explanation.

Thanks to sulovilen for the sigs!
Adam Prpich Portal Link
Adam Prpich | Center | Los Angeles Panthers
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 208 lbs
Birthplace: Zagreb, Croatia
Number: 38
==============================================
Regular Season Stats:
TBD
Bobby Lane | Right Wing | Retired
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 183 lbs
Birthplace: East Grand Forks, MN, USA
Number: 88
==============================================
Regular Season Stats:
S52 - TOR: 50gp | 20g | 26a | 46pts | -6 | 88hits
S53 - TOR: 50gp | 12g | 23a | 35pts | -41 | 2hits
S54 - TOR: 50gp | 18g | 23a | 41pts | -18 | 14hits
S55 - TOR: 50gp | 8g | 10a | 18pts | -41 | 22hits
S56 - TOR: 50gp | 21g | 25a | 46pts | -5 | 30hits
S57 - TOR: 66gp | 24g | 39a | 63pts | +12 | 67hits
S58 - TOR: 66gp | 36g | 42a | 78pts | +17 | 74hits
S59 - TOR: 66gp | 28g | 32a | 60pts | +28 | 51hits
S60 - TOR: 66gp | 34g | 31a | 65pts | +10 | 61hits
S61 - TOR: 66gp | 14g | 40a | 54pts | +2 | 58hits
S62 - TOR: 66gp | 21g | 31a | 52pts | -9 | 130hits
S63 - LAP: 66gp | 28g | 33a | 61pts | +1 | 84hits
S64 - LAP: 66gp | 15g | 36a | 51pts | +36 | 83hits
S65 - LAP: 66gp | 12g | 18a | 30pts | +6 | 55hits
Jonathan Lundberg |Center| Retired
Rollergator
Height: 6'
Weight: 196 lbs
Birthplace: Gothenburg, Sweden
Number: 31
Position: Center
==============================================
Regular Season Stats:
S24 - KEL: 52gp | 1g | 5a | 6pts | -1
S25 - KEL: 50gp | 13g | 17a | 30pts | +14
S26 - KEL: 50gp | 13g | 32a | 45pts | +14
S27 - KEL: 50gp | 18g | 37a | 55pts | +21
S28 - WKP: 50gp | 7g | 11a | 18pts | +9 | 99hits
S29 - MAN/WIN: 48gp | 9g | 27a | 36pts | +11 | 108hits
S30 - NEW: 50gp | 9g | 20a | 29pts | +13 | 88hits
S31 - NEW: 50gp | 11g | 22a | 33pts | +11 | 60hits
S32 - NEW: 50gp | 13g | 22a | 35pts | +16 | 58hits
S33 - POR: 50gp | 19g | 25a | 44pts | +8 | 156hits
S34 - POR: 50gp | 21g | 27a | 48pts | +10 | 179hits
S35 - POR: 50gp | 17g | 26a | 43pts | +14 | 176hits
S36 - POR/SEA: 51gp | 11g | 24a | 36pts | -18 | 163hits
S37 - SEA: 50gp | 17g | 34a | 51pts | +15 | 195hits
S38 - SEA: 50gp | 14g | 28a | 42pts | +2 | 229hits
S39 - MIN: 50gp | 14g | 25a | 39pts | +11 | 201hits
S40 - MIN: 50gp | 16g | 28a | 44pts | +19 | 193hits
S41 - MIN: 50gp | 13g | 27a | 40pts | +2 | 207hits
S42 - MIN: 50gp | 14g | 16a | 30pts | -3 | 185hits
S43 - MIN: 50gp | 15g | 14a | 29pts | -3 | 155hits
S44 - TOR: 50gp | 9g | 14a | 23pts | +3 | 189hits
S45 - SFP: 50gp | 11g | 17a | 28pts | -6 | 180hits
S46 - SFP/EDM: 50gp | 11g | 18a | 29pts | +1 | 197hits
========================================
S24 - Signed as a UDFA with the Kelowna Knights
S25 - Selected 18th overall by Calgary
S25 - Won Four Star Cup with the Kelowna Knights
S28 - Rights traded to West Kendall. Signed for 2 seasons
S28 - Selected to SHL All-Star Rookie Team
S29 - Traded to Manhattan
S29 - Traded to Winnipeg
S30 - Signed with New England for 2 seasons.
S30 - Won Challenge Cup with New England Wolfpack
S31 - Won Challenge Cup with New England Wolfpack
S32 - Signed with New England for 1 season.
S33 - Signed with Portland for 3 seasons.
S35 - Extended with Portland for 3 more seasons.
S36 - Traded to Seattle.
S38 - Rights traded to Minnesota.
S38 - Signed with Minnesota for 2 seasons.
S39 - Won Challenge Cup with the Minnesota Chiefs
S39 - Extended with Minnesota through S43.
S44 - Signed with the Toronto North Stars for 1 season.
S45 - Signed with the San Francisco Pride for 1 season.
S46 - Signed with the San Francisco Pride for 1 season.
Check out past episodes of Rich and Luke!

It has to be @ml002 no human can be this good as a gm. His talent is insane so it has to be him!
Not that it is a problem to me but still he has to be one

Or @honkerrs for being a fan of triss

 

Thank you @Carpy48, @honkerrs