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visceralpotamus · 08-06-2021, 01:24 AM

By now I know some of you may be getting tired of my position as an animal rights activist. Many of you may tire of my attempts to cajole the IIHF to include an animal only team based in the Galapagos Islands (an effort which is nowhere near it's end). I know there is comfort for many of you in the human centric hegemony of the league. However, as this league affords more and more opportunities for non-human athletes to participate in the beautiful sport of hockey, efforts MUST be made to be as inclusive and anti-specist as possible. I would like to include a trigger warning that the content below will address some of the most horrific human-caused specist harm that I am aware of. And yes, this conduct is seemingly explicitly supported by the SHL. So here we go.

The Vancouver based SMJHL team has the most horrific team name in this league, and I frankly don't think it's close. Out of respect for my Cetacean allies, I will refer to them as the "Vancouver Hockey Club," since I find it abhorrent that they are continually allowed to refer to themselves by their evil name and disgusting mascot. I have taken a cue from several other teams who have recognized the errors of the ways (eg the Washingtons R-words, rebranded the 'football team,' and the Edmonton E-words, rebranded the grammatically incorrect 'Elks'). I honour and appreciate the importance of these powerful steps made in order to stop alienating indigenous (human) populations on Turtle Island, I am still stuck with how behind we are in terms of justice for animals.

There is a team that draws inspiration from cowards who would murder beautiful whales in their own environment for their selfish capitalist reasons. It is not a very challenging thought experiment to wonder why we have never (to my knowledge) had a whale or dolphin in the SHL. I cannot fathom the mental anguish that would come from having to confront such an offensive team name. Even a glance at the team crest seems to wash away the negative connotation of their team name, with a whale's tail featured prominently. Given the nature of the employ of the team mascot, one can only assume that this is some kind of a sick trophy being displayed from a recent hunt. I can only imagine the horror if a team named the "Human Hungry Hippopotamuses" featured a human carcass as a logo. Yet here we are, the vicious double standard. It is also interesting that we seem ok with the hunting of graceful Blue Whales, yet a team name like the Vancouver Seal Clubbers, Puppy Mill Harvesters, or Black Rhino Poachers likely to be met with scorn, derision and disgust.

Another minor quibble might be the geographical illogic of the team name. Newfoundland being a landing spot for Viking raiders makes the Berserker name a fierce and appropriate name. I can hardly imagine a single Vancouverite who would be proud to support the reckless hunting of beautiful belugas, sacred sperm whales, or the humungous humpbacks. While some names are just silly and nonsensical (I'd love to know how many people have been knighted in Kelowna), the Vancouver Hockey Club's mascot is surely outright offensive to the average Vancouverite. Truly brings into question the types of fans that fill their stadium and buys their gear.
Finally, let's take a look at the current Vancouver roster. Home to several ocean dwellers in Robot Sunfish and Strawberry Sailfish - I can't imagine they are sporting any team gear during the offseason when they return to their aquatic homesteads. Name me a single fish who isn't a close friend with at least a Narwhal? The inner turmoil that these young athletes must go through every time they pull on a jersey that glamourizes the oppressors of the oceans gentle giant caretakers....I can only imagine the pain. Barry B Benson himself must also struggle with the casual disregard for non-human life. While I don't want to put words into these players' mouths, I just feel it is important to be sensitive to these differing perspectives which are all too frequently dismissed in this human-centered league. I even worry about the impression we pass along to a player like Norboza Manyhands, who is new to Earth. Our glorification of animal cruelty must make our entire planet present as some uncultured backwaters of the Universe. The kinda planet you'd need to sign a waiver before being allowed to visit. Is this really the best we can do?

Now while some may consider this to be an opportunistic rant meant to sow feelings of ill-will towards a playoff opponent, allow me to share a very powerful gesture put forward by fellow animal rights activist @Patty
The Zerk locker room is supporting Whale and Dolphin Conservation as an opportunity to raise awareness for the injustices happening in our oceans. If anything I wrote resonated with you, or if you generally want to support Cetaceans, and you're able, we would love to have you join us in donating this week. Feel free to note your pledge below, or perhaps share a more appropriate rebrand for the Vancouver Hockey Club Below.

As a starter, I will share that I will donate $1 for every game (each player) that @taterswc and/or @steveoiscool are held off the scoresheet, $5 for every Newfoundland shutout, and $10 for anytime Pasta takes a dive or @steveoiscool gets a game misconduct.

Thanks once again to @Patty for getting the ball rolling with the charity idea! Always a true ally <3

**Lime** · 08-06-2021, 01:28 AM

based and whale-pilled

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