Blog Post 6: April 9

KELOWNA, BC --- Hey everybody, Gunnar here again. I guess I’ve been putting off writing this because this’ll be my last blog post before the draft, and that sort of feels like something really big and final (even though I’ll probably be kicking around in Kelowna for a while yet). It’s also been pretty hard to put into words all the stuff I’ve been feeling over the past few days. The thing about hockey is that the emotional highs are like nothing else I’ve ever known in my life, but the lows are really rough, and going back and forth between those so many times in the space of a week or so is just exhausting. So, as you might have figured out, I’ve been pretty exhausted.

I guess I have to address the proverbial elephant in the room - yeah, we lost. St. Louis was such a challenge for us all season, and we brought them a hell of a fight, but in the end, we couldn’t quite get it done, and that sucks. I didn’t really want to talk to anybody for like a full day after the game, I guess it felt like if I talked about it that would make it real and I wasn’t quite ready to let go of our season yet. 

But at the end of the day, I think all you can really do is try to focus on the good stuff. We lost, but I know we all learned so much, and I’ve said it a million times now but I’m so proud of every single person on our team. The more I think about it, the more overwhelmed I am by how incredible it’s been to get to play with a team as talented as this one has been this year. Things are going to be different next year, I know. Guys are getting called up, and when they do that’s going to mean the rest of us have some really big shoes to fill. I’m excited for the opportunity, but at the same time, I’m definitely going to miss the guys moving up. 

But again, I want to focus on the good stuff. I learned so much from everybody on the team this year. Everybody comes from different places and everybody brings something different to the team, and I think it’s been really good for me to have the chance to play and hang out with so many different people with so much different life experience. And this city and the people in it are so incredibly passionate about this team and it’s just been the best feeling, to see how many people came out night after night to watch us play. 

That’s really what makes it hurt the most that we couldn’t win that one last game, because I know how much we wanted it but I also know how much the people who love the team wanted it, and it kills me a little to feel like we let them down. It means so much to me that so many people believed in us and bought tickets and came to cheer for us, and I really, really hope they don’t have any regrets about any of that. Because I don’t regret anything about this season, not a single thing. I wish we’d been able to finish the job, but I know every person on the team gave everything they had to give and that’s really all you can ever ask of anybody, so how can I regret that? 

I’ve also made some friends that I know are going to last a lifetime. It’s funny how fast me and Sasha and Dima went from total strangers to roommates to like…they’re my best friends, and am so lucky to have them in my life. I know it’s probably weird to say, but it’s one thing to work with people you like - it’s a whole other level of luckiness when you also get to go home with them at night and I’m trying to make the absolute most of it while I get to have it. 

Because the future is coming up fast. The draft is tomorrow, and me and Dima are going to end up drafted to a team or two teams and there’s a good chance it’s not going to be where Sasha is. I think we’ll probably get to play together a little longer, but this is kind of going to set the path ahead for the three of us and we’ll each have to figure out a lot of stuff separately once that happens, so it’s a really big step. 

It’s kind of crazy that we’re already about to get drafted. It feels like this season flew by, like it was just yesterday we were getting drafted and now we’re doing it again, only this time it feels way more intense. More people are talking about it, more teams have been talking to me, and it all just feels like there’s a lot more going on. People keep asking me where I want to end up, and just keep giving them all the same answer - that I’m going to be happy as long as I get to play hockey with good people. I feel a little spoiled, even with the way this season ended up, because we were so good and we won so much, and I know not to just expect to show up for a team and go all the way to the final immediately, so I’m really just incredibly grateful to get to do the thing I love, no matter where I’m doing it. 

Speaking of that, we’re also just at the start of world juniors! It feels completely different than it did last year; I feel like I’m already a much better player even after one season and I’m contributing so much more. We’re not a powerhouse team like a few of the others, but I’m excited to get to play with some of the other Swedish guys who play on different teams around the league. I’ve been away from home now for a while and as much as I’ve enjoyed playing with guys from all over, it makes me feel a little less homesick to get to hang out with so many other people who come from the same place I do. 

So that’s the update. I wish I’d had better news to share, but I’ve had a couple days now to process everything and I’m really excited for what comes next. Next time I write here, I’ll have a much clearer idea of where my future is, so everybody cross your fingers for me that it’s somewhere with good people and good food!

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