[2x Holiday Media Week - 1120 words]

Hey everybody! It’s Gunnar here again with another blog entry. I know, I know, it hasn’t even been a full season since the last time I did one of these, which is unusual for me these days, but I really wanted to check in and get it on the record that I’m really happy right now.

I have been complaining a lot these past few seasons that I didn’t feel like I was playing as well as I had the potential to play. And I really thought that things were going to get even worse once I hit regression, but I think in the middle of all of that wallowing and self-pity I forgot how many other factors go into how good you play. I was focusing so much on the points and the stats from the past couple of years that I forgot about all the other things that can really improve your game, like the guys around you getting better too, the way that can really lift you up. And once you start to feel like you’re getting a little bit better, it lifts you up a little further, and you carry that momentum with you, and now suddenly here I am, in my first regression season, two points away from 50 points in the season, which is something I’ve literally never done in my SHL career.

It’s really humbling, too, in a way, and has just reminded me that even after all this time, after all the times I’ve talked about how I want to be a team player, how I want to make plays happen without focusing too much on whether I am the one that eventually puts the puck in the net, I still have things to learn about what teamwork really looks like. I was thinking of my team but I think I was doing it in all the wrong ways, focusing on who was on the ice with me instead of how all of us, regardless of what line we play on, could encourage each other. I know that sounds really mushy, but I just kind of…let go of a lot of things this year and released them back into the hands of the hockey gods or whatever, and it’s all been uphill from there. I stopped thinking I needed to live up to my own unrealistic standards in order for guys on the team to like me, I stopped focusing on how lonely and single I was and just put more energy into my friendships, I stopped dwelling on the negatives and just tried to take the little wins, and everything started to come together.

I have no idea what will happen next season, or the season after that, for me on the score sheet. But what I do know is that I am happier now than I have been, really ever, and I don’t know if that’s a result of the numbers we’re putting up or if it’s a contributing factor to those numbers. I start to think it’s maybe a combination of both, a cycle that you just have to figure out how to start. You get to the good mental place, you start to get better, which makes your mental place even better, and around and around it goes.

The thing I want most in the world, I think, is to help this team bring home a championship. The city of Chicago and the team and the fans have given me so much, have absolutely reignited my love of hockey and my drive to improve and get to the top of my game. I really do believe this team we have here has what it takes to go that distance, I don’t think there’s any reason it can’t be us this year. We are close to the end of the season, so I’m really looking forward to playoffs and continuing the progress we’ve made as a team this year. The standings look good right now - we’re in third in the east, and we have games in hand on both of the teams ahead of us (although they look scary as usual, WHEN WILL REGRESSION COME FOR THEM ALL).

Speaking of Chicago, it is so cold here right now, I feel right at home. It is colder here today than it is at home back in Luleå, and that’s pretty crazy considering Luleå is like 100k or something from the actual Arctic Circle. The wind here in Chicago is no joke, it bites through your clothes and gets into your bones, it’s like the kind of cold you can taste. I don’t mind it, because I definitely grew up in a cold place, but it sure is different from Florida where I lived before. I had a really good holiday here this year, though, my family came over and we all had a good time giving gifts and all that. I am actually going back home to Sweden this summer because my sister Astrid is getting married. She’s the sibling closest to me in age (she is still seven years older than me) and she is the last of my sisters to get married, so I’m looking forward to all the pestering I am going to get from all our extended family once I’m the only Söderberg kid not married up. I know you’re all super looking forward to me telling you about my sister’s wedding once I get back from that.

Oh, another thing! I am getting another dog! I was starting to think that Maxim might be lonely while he is at home all day without me, and even though I have a dog walker come and take him and somebody who housesits for me while I’m on road trips, I think he would really love another dog companion to keep him company while I’m not there. I have been looking around at shelters and taking Maxim to meet some of the dogs to make sure they get along okay, and we are bringing home this little Jack Russel mix next week. Her name is Poppy and she’s incredibly cute and also really sweet and has a lot of energy so hopefully she and Maxim can wear each other out. We have a dog park a couple of blocks from my apartment building, so I am looking forward to taking them both there and letting them run around.

I think that’s all I have for now - I hope I will be writing back to you after the playoffs with good news. I also hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season, and I hope you all have an equally safe and happy new year!

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